When I'm Gone [Tom X Reader]

Secrets

This is modeled after Dear Starboy, a sad TomTord story by saltiestblueberry and a lot of it is inspired by their book. I also decide on a lot of things for you so sorry if you don't like somethings. Link to Dear Starboy: https://my.w.tt/UiNb/4fVrAnCiVI

[Tom's POV]
Y/N cuddled the doe like it was her own mother. She must be cold.

Well, it was like 9:00 at night, and we did just take a 'fun' swim, so of course she's cold.

I look at the doe and fawn, who looked at me. She seemed to read my thoughts and let me advance towards her to pick Y/N up.I nod in thanks to the creature and carry Y/N bridal style as I exit the sanctuary.

Why did I just nod to a deer?

Y/N wakes up.

"Tom?" She asks, startling me.

"Yeah?" I answer.

"Where are we? What time is it?" She panicked, looking around.

"You fell into the river after you fell out of an oak tree." I explained. "I'm carrying you home."

"Tom! I can walk on my own! Put me down!" She argued.

"You're not winning this argument! Not this time!" I talk back.

She finally gives up, and I follow her footprints that lead out of the woods. She struggled out of my arms and regained her posture.

"That was fun...even if I almost died." She said.

"Really Y/N?" I looked her in the eye.

"Hey. Everyone needs a little adventure." She suggested.

"Heh, I guess so." I wondered.

"Wanna go there again sometime?" She asked. "And not fall out of oaks?"

"Let's try a birch next time." I joked. She laughed. It was now when I realized how comforting her laugh was.

"But seriously, do you want to?" She restated her question.

"Yeah, that WOOD be great." I made a pun. She giggled.

"Well, bye Tom." She waved.

"Bye."

{Your POV}
You sneak into your house and up the stairs. Luckily, your father wasn't at the house yet. As soon as you shut your door, you hear the door slam downstairs.

He's back.

Fortunately, he didn't hear your door close. You could pretend you were asleep. That was the only time he didn't bother you.

You turned off the light. Then you quietly got under your covers, which were just thin sheets, and closed your eyes. Shortly after that, you hear your door open.

"D@mm!t, she's asssleep..." You hear your father slur his words.

You hear the entryway slam shut, and footsteps stomp down the hallway. You open your eyes and gracefully get out of your 'bed' look out your window. You watch Tom write something on a piece of cream colored paper with jet black ink. You could only make out a few words, such as care and her, but that was about it. You wonder who he was writing about. You sigh and crawl back into bed.

You ponder about your life and where it has lead you. What if this and what if that...so many things that could've happened, but didn't. You take off your gray cardigan to see the cream colored non-bulky bandages on your entire arms. You exhaled and carefully took off the reddish brown stained bandages. On your arms were a sea of scars. The memories kept coming back.
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"Wait! Don't do it, please!" You cried.

"Heh, and why did you come up here?" The girl with semi-long blonde hair taunted. "To do the same thing as I."

"Let me help you! Tell me what's wrong! Why aren't you at home!" You called.

"I just wanna stop the scars that grow. Every time that I go home. That's why I came up here instead." That's what the girl with the blonde hair said.

"Just grab my hand! I can help you through your pain!" You plead.

"No." She said as she jumped off the roof. You looked over the edge to see her pale body splattered with blood.

"No..." You teared up.
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You grabbed a shard of broken glass and slice your arm. And again. And again. And again. Your bloody arms were covered in cuts. Again.

Only if you were here...

Your brother had died when you were 10. He was 15 when he died, like you are now. He had killed himself by jumping off a rooftop. You had witnessed another girl do it. You punished yourself for it. You could've helped.

You re-wrap the stained bandages around your bleeding arms. Then, you crawl into bed and shiver before being dropped into a cold and dark sleep.

[Tom's POV]
I wrote on a sandy piece of paper. The black ink read,

I care about her.

And I did.

But, I didn't know what else to write. Of course.

So I just snuggled in my checkered bed until I fell asleep.

~Two weeks later~

Ugh. Summer goes by so quickly.

Yeah, it was the first day of school. Why. Why why why. I personally wanted to spend more time with Y/N.

I reluctantly get up and put on my normal clothes on. Gray t-shirt, blue sweatshirt, black pants and checked shoes. I hear something bang against my window. I walk over to see Y/N, still being a little daring by sitting on her windowsill.

"You'd really think that you would NOT do that when you fall out of a tree." I sighed.

"I never learn." She said. "And that was two weeks ago." She stuck her tongue out.

She was wearing a white long sleeve with her gray cardigan. She had black capris and F/C shoes. Her ears had one F/C rhinestone and the other had a dark blue. She had a bracelet with fake sapphires and rose quartz rhinestones. Heh, she really likes neutral colors and F/C.

"Wanna walk to school together?" She suggested. "And after school we can go to that place in the woods?"

"Sure," I answer. "But what should we call it?"

"Mmmmm....how about Y/N and Tom's sanctuary?" She offered.

"Yeah, I like it." I agreed. "But we should get to school!"

We both leave our houses, and meet outside. She made a lot of puns and jokes on the way to school. I laughed, even though they weren't that good. Some were really funny!

When we arrived at school, I lead her to meet my friends, Edd, Matt and Tord. Well, Tord is more Edd's friend but meh.

It turned out they had a lot in common! Y/N and Edd both liked puns, Matt and Y/N liked random gadgets, and Y/N and Tord both liked science!

Heh, I'm glad she immediately made friends.