Mr. Lingle makes my pringle sized dingle *t i n g l e*

Genesis 1:2

 After Papa was given the Lingle and Smink treatment, the sack carrying his better ingredients began to grow larger by the month, and sometimes even by the week. Finally, he felt a kick from within the womb of his ingredients that solidified the fact that it was too late to shove a coat hanger down there.

He called Smink and expressed his need for support in these tough times. But Smink decided against helping Papa. He was only in it for those better ingredients. Papa was desperate, so he called Mr. Lingle too. Little did he know that Mr. Lingle died while attempting to give birth to Papa's bastard son. Finally, Papa couldn't take it anymore. A new being would only put a strain on his better ingredients. He decided he would have to do it with a stapler.

Papa reluctantly aimed the stapler at his better ingredients and pressed down on it. He expected the kicking to finally stop as he stapled them, but there was nothing.

Nothing came out of the stapler. He was sure to have loaded it, but as he pressed it to his ingredients, there was nothing.

He had better ingredients and better pizza, but he somehow ran out of staples.

Months later, Papa woke up to feel a sharp pain in his much more engorged bag of ingredients. "It's coming," he said. He feels the kicking and the climbing through his bag, and eventually, it reaches his sausage. Papa screamed louder than the orgasmic "Oof" he let out during his playtime with Lingle and Smink. He felt the tubes in his sausage expanding and burning. The once huge, veiny, and muscular sausage becomes even larger as the being created by him and Smink slowly crawls out of Papa's sausage hole.

As she comes out, she lets out the satanic laugh that has haunted children for centuries. As she slowly emerges out of his sausage, she slathers her vegan pickle juice on Papa's magnum dong. Papa screams even louder; aroused because of the pickle juice seeping into his hole as his demon child crawls from the depths of his now throbbing, veiny sausage.

As Donna "Lucifer" Luzenski came into the world, Papa came as well, shooting her and his milk out of his pulsating pickle and onto his better pizza. Papa wanted a taste of his newly secreted milk but decided to focus his lust towards his new creation.

Suddenly, Steve Harvey walks into the room, only to be greeted by Papa John with his tingling tentacle out in the open and a bare naked Ms. Luzenski covered in an assortment of fluids.

Steve looks down in horror and confusion, almost as if he was witnessing the dismantling of Net Neutrality.

"We asked one hundred people," Steve shouts, "what is the male reproductive organ?"

Steve walks over to the first contestant and says, "what is the male reproductive organ?"

The contestant can't keep his eyes off Papa's throbbing third leg as he leans in towards the microphone and mutters, "the penis. . ."

"A WUH. . . HUH??" Steve Harvey says in utter shock and confusion. He erupts into laughter and is forced to grab onto the podium to support himself as his laughter gets louder and more violent, "YOU PEOPLE NEED HELP!" Steve bursts out.

Steve finally starts to slow his breathing and lets out one final, "O' Lordy. . ." before nearly collapsing from exhaustion. Harvey takes a few moments to wipe the tears of pure joy from his eyes before holding back his laughter as he shouts, "Survey says!"

The board lets out a satisfying "ding" and shows 100 for "penis." Harvey is barely able to pull off one more shocked look before imploding, causing existence as we knew it (more commonly known as Season 2 of 'Family Feud') to be destroyed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Alright degenerates, go take tie a noose and decapitate some rabid squirrels.

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