A journal ig

Ripx

If your reading this....don't judge my feelings ,don't try and make up stupid shit on my stuff and if you wanna comment make sure that its positive . I don't need anymore shit /words take a tool over me i don't need that right now and I'm not looking for attention I'm looking to see am I the only one with these thought and problems cause sometimes I feel alone ..like all the time like I'm not even my old self anymore man ..I ...I don't know what's wrong wit me ..why can't I be feel happy why can't I feel ...what's wrong wit me yo....?

You can enter my head now 🤯

Sometimes I think me having another birthday makes people die ....like ever time it's almost my birthday someone precious dies during the week before my birthday and then on my birthday someone's dies like I can't shed another tear and feel ...feel some type of way and all these deaths are really impacting me because I'm "woke" but sometimes I think I'm toooooo "woke" and I start to think of a whole bunch of negative shit and then I start to get sad and later on depressed like ...😓😤😭 sometimes I wonder whts my purpose on this earth 🌏 like I'm low key struggle on the low  but momma said don't let no one see your pain but how am I not supposed to let "them"see my pain when your starting  the pain and everyone just adds on to the wonds...I low keyed thrown up for a week and 2 days ... today is my birthday but I don't feel happy ...tbh idk wht to feel anymore ....ig I'm numb too ........I listened to x but then I stopped cause I thought he only made look at me and some other ones and plus I was trying to get rid of the pain on my own you  know and I fell back into depression really badly and I forgot wht was his name plus I didn't use sound cloud but I found Tyler The Creator , Michael Jackson , and Melanie Martinez , they helped me till I found x again almost at the end of may this year and ......i ummm..listened to a couple of his songs which bumped 🤤but then I listened to sad and tried to skip it only to be greeted with changes which took me back to my old days of depression even though I was already starting to become sad around that time so I pulled my earphones out my ear not wanting to listen to the song and just started out the window but my mind was in space and then when x died the song changes came in my head and I can't get it out and I'm feeling.......ig numb ....forever this time