radio ; chanbaek

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Baekhyun bursts through the door, ready to rip Jongdae's mouth from his face. "Jongdae, you better prepare yourself because you are so dea-" Baekhyun stops talking when he sees Jongdae in the kitchen, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies. Jongdae is wearing Christmas themed pot holders with small green trees on them. A wide smile can be seen on Jongdae's face. "Dae, it's not even Christmas ye—"

"Happy Birthday to me, Baek!" Jongdae says with a cheery tone, putting the tray of cookies on the table. Baekhyun is shocked, how could he forget his best friend's birthday?

"I'm sorry, Jongdae. I totally forgot." Baekhyun says, he still can't believe himself. Instead of receiving punches or curses he receives a tight and warm hug. "It's okay, Baek. The important thing is that you're here to celebrate my birthday with me."

Baekhyun feels tears prickle his eyes, he remembers. Baekhyun is Jongdae's only friend.

Baekhyun hugs Jongdae tightly, "Happy birthday, Dae." Baekhyun softly cries into Jongdae's shoulder making the younger laugh. "Yah! It's okay, don't cry~ You're a busy man and you had a date today so it's okay with me."

Jongdae's warm heart makes Baekhyun cry every single time, his parents left Jongdae and his brother when they were young. Jongdae and Jongdae's brother were taken into their aunt's care. Jongdae and Baekhyun met in high school, where they became best of friends.

Baekhyun slaps Jongdae's shoulder, "I hate you." Baekhyun pouts, turning around to get rid of Jongdae's face. "What about Minseok?"

"Oh, that was just a lie just to bring you home faster. The cookies were getting cold." Jongdae pauses. "Though I feel like he does like me. Well, I shouldn't assume, I might get hurt in the end."

*

Baekhyun happily munches on Jongdae's freshly baked cookies, Jongdae returns to the table with two glasses of milk. "Deed Jonginnie gweet you a happy burs-oomf!" Jongdae stuffs Baekhyun with more cookies, stopping Baekhyun from speaking. "He didn't, I guess he was too busy." Jongdae mumbles, eating a cookie.

Baekhyun frowns, his cookie filled cheeks making Baekhyun ten times cuter.

"Bw-Bwut." Baekhyun continues to chew on the cookies in his mouth, with a pout.

"So how was your little 'meeting' with your fan?" Jongdae asks, emphasizing the word meeting. His eyebrows wiggle making Baekhyun giggle. "It was the best meeting so far, he's really nice and tall and cute." Baekhyun smiles just at the thought of Chanyeol's cute and small gestures towards him.

Jongdae shakes his head, "Tsk tsk, have you moved on yet? I know it still hurts." Jongdae says making Baekhyun's smile turn into a frown. "Why did you have to bring that up? You can clearly see that I'm happy." Baekhyun rolls his eyes at Jongdae.

"I just don't want you to hurt again, it hurts me too. I want you to fully move on before you fall in love again." Jongdae says, he searches Baekhyun's eyes. "I didn't say that I like him, he's just a fan and that's all he is to me." Baekhyun says, oddly feeling pain in his chest when he said those words.

"Are you sure?" Baekhyun doesn't answer his question, he stands up from the table. "I'm tired, I'll go to sleep. Good night, Dae." He walks towards his room, his mind blank.

*

Baekhyun couldn't sleep that night.

He thought he was going to have a real good night but it was all ruined when he started talking about him.

The person who broke him just had to be mentioned, he's not complaining though. In fact, he's thankful.

He was the person who broke him into pieces, the person who left him, and the person Baekhyun fell in love with. But he was also the person who taught Baekhyun to be stronger, he picked up those pieces and fixed himself when nobody could fix him. He sits up on his bed, rubbing in his eyes.

Three knocks were heard on his door, he looks at his bedroom door. "Baek? I know you're not yet asleep." He hears Jongdae's voice on the other side of his door, he stays quiet still staring at his door. "I'm coming in." Jongdae says, twisting the doorknob to reveal Jongdae in his pajamas while holding two cups of (he assumes) hot chocolate and a jacket on his shoulder.

"Hey." Jongdae smiles softly at his best friend, Baekhyun just stares in return.

Jongdae walks his way to Baekhyun's bed, sitting beside the older male. "Here, it's getting cold and all so I made us some hot chocolate." Baekhyun gladly yet quietly accepts the warm mug with the hot chocolate inside. Jongdae starts the conversation.

"I'm sorry about earlier, you know me mentioning him. I shouldn't have pushed the topic too far." Jongdae says quietly but it's loud enough for Baekhyun to hear. "It's okay, Jongdae. It's my fault for being so sensitive about a topic that's old. Your question also got me thinking, do I really still love him? If I do well damn, I'm stupid. Chanyeol is a nice kid, if I ever fall for him that just shows that I'm ready to fall in love again, he might be the one but he's just a fan to me. I can't assume and rush things." Baekhyun lets out a light-hearted chuckle.

Jongdae sighs in relief, "Phew, I thought I was dead." Jongdae says jokingly making Baekhyun smile. Both males stay quiet after apologizing, sipping their hot chocolates.

"Oh by the way, there was a jacket on the kitchen counter. I didn't know you were into oversized jackets, it kinda suits you." Jongdae gives Baekhyun the jacket on his shoulder.

"Oh, thanks Dae. It's not mine, the owner of that jacket is the guy I met up with earlier. He's very nice and warm, he smells good too. Just like his jacket! It's warm and it smells good~" Baekhyun says, lifting the jacket's sleeve up to his nostrils to sniff the jacket. Jongdae moves a bit to the side, getting creeped out.

"Yeah yeah, you already talked about him earlier." He slowly grabs the jacket, getting it out of Baekhyun's sight. "You can stop sniffing it. Hehe."

Baekhyun pouts, "Aw."

The both of them finally finish their mugs of hot chocolate, feeling warm inside and outside. "Can I sleep here for tonight, Baek?" Jongdae asks, Baekhyun just nods. "Yeah, go ahead. Just put my pillow in the center so we wont end up hugging each other." Jongdae does Baekhyun's command, he can't sleep tonight and being with Baekhyun makes him feel better.

They both get into their comfortable positions. "Good night, Baek."

"Good night, Dae." Baekhyun coos.

A few minutes have passed and Baekhyun can hear Jongdae's soft snores. He thought he could finally sleep in peace now with his best friend beside him, but he can't.

Instead of having thoughts about him, he has thoughts of Chanyeol's warm smiles.

*

hi~ honestly going through jonghyun's death is hard, i miss him even though i'm not a hardcore shawol. he's a true inspiration to many and a true kpop legend. please stay strong, shawols, shinee, and jonghyun's family. if you are ever going through hard times you can just send me a message, i'll be there to help you and listen to you. don't hesitate to ask somebody for help.

but anyways, this is my christmas and new years update since i wont be here for new years. have a safe and warm christmas and new years, hopefully my books will keep you warm ;)

thank you for your amazing support my smol beans~

vote, comment, and enjoy!

i love you all so much~

merry christmas and happy new year! to a better and safer 2018~ 

-xmb ♡