"I just don't understand-"
"How could someone so perfect, feel so insecure?"
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⚠️warning, story contains suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, self harming, strong language, and adults scenes⚠️
It was a Saturday morning. I peacefully sleep on my soft warm bed when I awoke by my mothers calls- coming from down stairs.
"Tyler!" She faintly shouts.
I groan and get off my bed, rubbing my eyes as I walk down stairs.
"Yes?" I politely said in my morning voice.
"Me and your father are going somewhere, your staying with your siblings today- breakfast is on the kitchen table if your hungry" My loving mother informed me.
"Take care! Love you all!" She yells, rushing out the door then roughly shutting it afterwords.
I sighed and walked to the kitchen table and prepared my breakfast.
My mom had cooked us all some bacon and eggs. I grab two pieces of bacon and an egg then began devouring them.
Once I finished, I placed my plate in the kitchen sink and washed it off. I dry my hands with the towel that was placed near the sink and walked back upstairs to get ready for the day.
I brushed my hair and teeth and wore a green T-shirt with a blue hoodie over it, along with black skinny jeans. I head out the bathroom and went in my room. I sat on the edge of my bed as I surfed threw all my social media accounts. As I was playing with the filters on my Snapchat, I received a text message from Josh.
Josh👽: Hey! Could I come over?
Me: sure!
Josh👽: ok, be there in 5 minuets.
Me: K see you then
Josh lives in the same neighborhood as me, he was only a few houses away. We would always go to each others houses and hang.
I turned my phone off and went down stairs to watch TV. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I see Zack sitting on the couch watching The Walking Dead. I set beside him and watch.
After a few minutes of watching zombies being killed. I heard a knock on the door and I shot up from the couch and bolted towards the door and opened it.
"Jishwa!" I say, smiling wide.
"Tyjo!" He happily says with a smile as wide as mine.
We pull each other in a hug then did our secret hand shake.
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I step aside and let him enter the house.
"Sup Josh!" Zack says, Looking away from the Tv.
"Sup" Josh replied.
"Let's go to my garage and play a few songs" I tell Josh.
"Sure, let's do it!" He excitedly said.
We head to the garage and played a few songs we've been working on.
"I try desperately to run through the sand As I hold the water in the palm of my hand 'Cause it's all that I have and it's all that I need and The waves of the water mean nothing to me But I try my best and all that I can To hold tightly onto what's left in my hand But no matter how, how tightly I will strain The sand will slow me down and the water will drain"
I sing.
When the song came to an end, Josh and I decided to take a break and grab some TB.
We decided to walk since we didn't have a car to drive.
Y/N's POV.
I cry and curl up in a ball with my body pushed deep in the one of the corners of my room.
I sob in fear.
"Please!" I cried out loud.
"Please... STOP!"
"Shut up Bitch!" John yells and pulls my hair, dragging me downstairs.
My whole body was covered in red marks that will soon form into purple, blue, and green bruises.
He stops in his tracks and pushes my head down to the floor, causing my head to spin and ache.
"You disrespectful little brat!" He punches my stomach again.
I start to cough up blood.
"You deserve more than just these punches!" He spits.
He finally stops and walks away, leaving me alone. Laying on the hard floor with a pool of my own blood.
Get up you weak fool!
I weakly pushed myself off the ground and stumbled my way up to my room.
I walk in the bathroom and cleaned myself up.
"You deserve more than just these punches!" Johns words echoed threw my brain like a broken record player.
I tried to shake my thoughts away and continued to wash my bruised body.
When I walked out, I quickly put my cloths on, scared that John might burst in. If he's capable of punching me half to death, and treat me like a toy, he could be capable of other things to.
What if he sexually abuse me?
What if he rapes me?
My body trembles and my heart rate increases as my thoughts frightened me- triggering my anxiety.
I take a few minutes to fix my breathing.
In and out....
In and out...
In... And... Out...
(While I was writing this, I thought food from In N Out- I don't even like In N Out!😂)
Once my breathing was steady, I tried to push my thoughts away and continued to get ready.
I decided to wear clothing that would cover my bruises. I wore a Paramore T-shit that Hayley and her band mates made, a black MCR hoodie to cover my exposed arms, And wore grey skinny jeans and black converse.
I finished brushing my hair and teeth. I head out the bathroom and felt my stomach growl, I haven't had breakfast yet. I shrugged the feeling off and walked in my room. I grabbed my phone and headphones along with my pocket money and a bag filled with extra clothing and other things like my songbook, a pencil, my phone charger and a few feminine stuff.
I quietly and carefully sneak down stairs and head outside. I was running away. Well, actually, I was just heading to Hayley's house and sleeping over for the weekend since my mom wouldn't be home till Monday, which means I would be left with John for the next two days. I asked my mom if I could stay at Hayley's till she gets home and they all agreed.
John didn't know anything about the sleepover, but if he did, he wouldn't let me go anywhere, so I didn't inform him. Also, he doesn't need to know, he's not my dad after all, he's just my moms boyfriend, what could go wrong?
