light in the dark;;

First and last

He couldn't do it anymore.

It's been so hard. Covering all his pain, his hardships, his depression with a simple smile on his face.

Were people really that shallow? he thought.
Did they really take that smile on his face seriously, without looking what was beyond it?

For 10 years, he slowly crumbled. Yes, he knew that he had his loyal shawols with him; just being with them made him beyond happy. He had his beautiful family with him too.

But just one word of criticism cut through his heart like a knife. He couldn't stand it anymore.

He felt the tears rise up to his eyes, burning. Ugh, he let out a cry of frustration. How was it that everyone, everyone could live happily except him?

It was as if everyone was a dandelion seed; they all were able to fly away and find themselves able to grow on. But then, there was him, who was still stuck onto the past, not able to move on.

He couldn't do it anymore. He was done.

Now how would he finish it?

He stumbled into the kitchen and saw a knife on the table. No, he thought, it just reminded him more about the criticism that stabbed into his heart.

The window was open. No, it'll make him feel like he's falling into despair, when all he ever wanted was to be free.

That was when he saw it. The black blocks. They'll do the trick. As he picked them up and placed it in the sauce pan to start heating up, he teared up.

Memories of his sister and mother flashed across his eyes. He didn't want to do this, but right now it seemed right.

Memories of his band mates. Memories of his favourite people. Of all the people he worked with. Until one memory stuck itself in his mind.

His last concert. When he took a good look to remember all the flashing teal lightsticks, held by beautiful smiling people, the sight that lived with him for 10 years. He admired their admiration, but it wasn't enough to stop what he was doing now. To think that was the last time.

He remembered them with a smile and tears.

As the fumes slowly embraced him, he embraced them back. Darkness after all, was an old friend.

All he ever wanted was to find light. And that light, was in these black bricks.

The light in the dark; where he was to find rest.