Resentment - (18+)

C4

MIA

It's Saturday morning and I'm in a café across town, spending my day looking over my application for Western Peak College. It's a small, private art school in Portland, and I haven't bothered to tell my mom that I'm applying. She still thinks I'm dead set on going to Harvard.

She also thinks that I've "finally come to my senses" and has thoroughly embarrassed me every afternoon that Justin has brought me home. She's waved at him from the windows as if she's a good mother, and then she's sat me down in the living room, asking for details like we're some type of giddy girlfriends. Like I would ever tell her anything real.

"Now that you're dating him, maybe you can finally feel comfortable running for homecoming queen?" she said to me this morning. "When I won two years in a row, it changed my life. I think it will change yours, too. It'll probably help with your low self-esteem as well."

I can still remember wanting to slam the door in her face, but I kept my calm. Until she uttered her closing remarks: "You could potentially have 'Daddy issues' since me and your father have been separated for so long¸ so let me know whenever you want to discuss sex with Justin. That way, I can tell you about the repercussions and get you an appointment with an associate at my office."

I can no longer even 'pretend' to smile when she talks.

Why is it that all the supposed great psychiatrists are the ones who have the most fucked up way of thinking?

Shaking the thought of her away, I re-read the introduction of my essay over and over, wondering if the opening line "If you're reading this, you're seconds away from meeting one of the most passionate artists you'll ever meet" is too strong. As I scratch out a few of the words, I feel the familiar buzz of my phone in my pocket.

JUSTIN: Hey. What are you doing?

I smile, but I don't answer. We talked on the phone last night for almost four hours. I'm convinced that I need to slow down whatever this is between us as much as I can.

It buzzes again.

JUSTIN: I know you see my text message, Mia. What are you doing?

I look up and scan the coffee shop, making sure he's not there.

MIA: I'm ignoring you. Do you mind if I continue?

JUSTIN: I do mind. No one should be forced to do something they don't really enjoy :-)

MIA: I'm filling out a college application. You know the one I was supposed to fill out last night before you called me and interrupted?

JUSTIN: It was a welcome interruption. Where are you?

MIA: Hudson's Coffee. Why?

JUSTIN: I'll come get you in an hour. I want to take you somewhere today. I think you'll like it.

MIA: Have we discussed how you never ASK me if I want to hang out with you? How you always just assume?

JUSTIN: No, but I don't think we need to. That'd be a waste of a text message, and yours aren't unlimited :-)

I smile and put my phone on silent, now thinking of a better opening line for my essay. I manage to finish the entire application by the time Justin's car pulls up right in front of the café's windows.

Looking outside, I see a few girls from our school waving at him as he gets out of his car and leans against it. They step closer to him, blushing and feeding him the attention he seems to get everywhere, but to my surprise, he entertains them for only a few seconds before moving away and coming inside.