Resentment - (18+)

C36

MIA
Present day.

"Where do you want these?" Autumn asks holding up a box labeled "art supplies."

"Next to my easels over there," I say, pointing towards the dining room. I bring in the last box from the hall and take a moment to look around my new home. It's nowhere near as extravagant as Eric's place but since he's paying for it, I can't complained. Right after that argument with Justin in the rain that night, I immediately called Autumn. I told her I was pulling a Bff trump card and I needed her to come to Portland ASAP. No questionsasked. Still reeling, the second I arrived home, I started packing my things and I called a twenty four hour mover service. I also called Eric, voice trembling, and told him I was moving out.

"Moving out?" He said. "Where the hell are you going?"

"To a hotel for a couple of days but I'm having all of my stuff put into storage, because I just can't live here anymore."

"Mia, you're not making any sense."

"I'm making perfect sense. I just wanted to let you know."

"You don't have enough money to live anywhere in this city alone." He'd sounded irritated. "You don't have a car of your own, your job pays you in shit, and you-" He paused. "How much do you need?"

I told him that I had no interest in taking his money, but he insisted and made it clear that he could more than afford it. In the middle of the movers coming to get my stuff, he managed to contact one of his non-disclosure clients and she'd agreed to meet me at a small condo on the other side of the waterfront. Keys and all. No questions asked.

I've' managed to hold back my tears for two days, but I'm probably going to make it through today without crying. I can only hold so much more inside, especially with everything around me reminding me of what situation brought me here.

"Mia? Hello?" Autumn waves a glass in front of my face.

"Sorry." I grab the glass and add it with the others in the cabinet.

"Are you okay? I was calling your name for a long time," She says looking worried.

"I'm fine." I offer a half-smile.

"Mia, you're not fine, I don't expect you to be fine right now."

"Good, because I finally admit that I'm not."

"You're not going to talk about it today are you?"

"No."

"Okay, well we won't talk about it today then." She uses the hem of her t-shirt to wipe my face.

"How about Friday?"

"Friday I can probably do."

Just like that, an emotional conversation that would undoubtedly lead to a mental breakdown, has been avoided. That's what I love about Autumn, she knows me so well, she's well aware that talking about it isn't going to make it any better right now. I still need time to process everything, and unfortunately that 'everything' includes what happened ten years ago all over again as well.

She helps me unpack the first set of boxes in my living room and she doesn't ask me any questions or turn on any music. We work around each other in utter silence, and every now and then, she walks up to me and pulls me into her arms for a hug.

Later that night, she buys a vintage bottle of white wine, and sets two sleeping bags against my bare bedroom floor. As I lay down for a nap, she decides to takes on the task of going through all my personal items, and removing all traces of Justin before phase two unpacking tomorrow.

Once she's done, I'm not yet ready to turn in for the night, so we go to the store and buy paint for an accent wall where my bed will eventually go. We paint the wall an emerald green, but then I remember that particular color reminds me of Justin's eyes, so we repaint the wall beige. Beige ends up being fucking boring so we go back over it with the green again. It doesn't looks as green this time, or at least that's what I plan on telling myself.