Dead or alive (the next step fanfic)

Trigger

James pov
I pick up the letter from the table were it's been for weeks. I haven't brought myself to reed it yet. What if she blames me for everything, I mean it was my fault she left and I didn't fight for her, I didn't even go look for her. The letter is stained from what I think is tears, some of the letters are faded but I can still tell them apart from the others.

Hey James.
I do not have a clue what I'm gonna write here, we have a lot of history together which make it quite difficult to not say something stupid, but I'm gonna try anyways. You were a huge part of my life for so long. You influenced me for the god and the bad. When I met you, you helped me let lose and have more fun, not always think about the consequences. The bad part was... well I can't really think of the bad part right now but I'm sure there is one:). So i remember the day I met you, or the day I got to know you. First I thought you were irresponsible, immature, self centered, selfish and annoying.  To some levels I were right but I also think I didn't give you a fair shoot at the beginning, but I'm weary happy I did later on because I would not have been the person I am today without you. When we broke up the first time, because of Beth I were so mad. But it wasn't really Beth that was the problem, we drifted apart long before but we found our way back to each other. You did this amazing thing for me and I can never thank you enough. One of My favorite memories with you is our first date. Because I Believe that it is not the ending that counts it's the story how we got there. I Came into studio a and you had set up a table with food from all over the world, you made me a passport and everything was just perfect. In that moment nothing else mattered. Sadly perfection does not last forever. I had to leave for me, i lost myself and just had to find me again. At this point you must know I moved on but I never forgot about you. Maya, my daughter, she means everything to me and she is so special. I want you to know her, she needs everyone she can get now that I'm gone. Don't give Theo a hard time, he's gone through hell even before I died. I don't know if you moved on, but I hope you did because I want you to be happy. You know, right now when I'm writing this all I can think about is you saying "don't even worry about it". It's been a lot lately and I use to get annoyed and mad at you when you said that but now that's probably all I need to hear. Just remember I have always loved you and I always will.
// love riley

No ones pov
With red eyes from the tears that fell, James get up from the sofa. He walks over to the locked drawer. Under a vase lies a key to the drawer. James picks up the key and unlocks the drawer. Out of the drawer he picks up a small black gun. He goes inte the bathroom and looks himself in the mirror. In it he sees the face of a once so happy person but now so empty. All the joy he had for life is gone, nothing more to live for. He puts the gun up against his head and all he has to do is pull the trigger, right? One, two, thr...

Cliffhanger ahh:). So I'm not really sure were I wanna go from here so plz comment, is he gonna pull the trigger or not. I'll write soon again.

I'm thinking about writing another fanfic, so what do you want it to be about? Write whatever you want me to write about in the comments and if I've seen the show I'll try to write about it.