The Golden Gate Project

Chapter Three

Kaylee

Of course it would rain on the day of Sebastian's funeral.

The whole family has been out here with umbrellas for a while, no one knowing quite what to say.

I see Hannah and mom hug as they cry and mom buries her face in Hannah's neck.

Every once in a while someone will come up to us to say something, condolences or whatever, but most of the time, people just sit and watch.

What's strange is that I don't see anyone that I don't recognize. No twenty-something's that look like they could be from Sebastian's college. It's all family. Knowing Seb, that doesn't make sense.

It's hard for me to see through my tears as I feel my dad's hand on my shoulder. His eyes are red and puffy and he holds his umbrella over us as he pulls me in for one of his amazing hugs.

But it's not as comforting this time.

This still doesn't feel real. They didn't even have an open casket because Seb's face was so... Different.

They start to lower the casket in the ground and I lose it. So does mom.

He's really gone. Forever. This is it.

"I don't want you to leave again." I hear my dad say. I look up at him, "What if I never see you again?" He's trying to keep it together.

"Dad." I hug him again and squeeze tight. How will he live with this?

My mom breaks down again too and Hannah starts to tear up again as she holds her.

"I love you guys so much." My mom whimpers. She looks from me to Hannah, "But let's get this clear," she takes a jagged breath, "we die first, okay?" I watch as Mom breaks down in tears again.

I don't even know what to say to that. No parent should have to bury a child.

I look at Hannah and we both know neither of us can promise that. Not with our careers.

"We should go home." I say.

"Kaylee's right. It's too cold to stay out here in the rain." Dad chimes in.

He walks forward to squeeze Mom's hand and they walk together to the car.

I can't help but take one last look at the hole in the ground before I tear myself away and follow Hannah to the car.

The entire ride home is silent. Listening to music just seems too disrespectful.

We walk into the house, and immediately Dad goes to make coffee and hot chocolate for everyone.

I set the mail down on the counter in front of me. Even the routine of checking mail seems wrong now.

It's still silent until Hannah surprises me.

"I think Sebastian would want us to celebrate. Celebrate his life and all he lived for." Everyone looks at each other. I give her a nod to keep going, "Grieving is important, of course, but I think we should celebrate too. He wouldn't want us to be sad. Don't you think?"

Dad holds Mom as she tears up again, but they both nod. Hannah turns to me and I nod behind my teary eyes.

Hannah smiles and goes to the fridge. She pulls out a can of whipped cream and pours it into everyone's cup. She takes a sip, leaving a white moustache on her lip, then raises her cup to toast.

I smile to her and to Mom and Dad as we all do the same, cups raised with whipped cream moustaches.

"To Sebastian." Hannah says.

"To Sebastian." We all repeat, and take a sip.

"Thank you guys for coming back," Mom says, "I know you two are busy."

"Of course, how could we not?" I say.

"Any excuse to see you guys," Hannah says.

A small smile appears on Mom's face and I exchange glances with Hannah who smirks at me. Suck up.

"It's just that I know flying in here from out of the country is expensive and takes a lot of time, so I just really appreciate--" Mom rambles.

"Mom, it's family. Family takes precidence." I say.

"You're too nice mom." Hannah says as she hugs Mom.

Mom smiles again and I trade looks with Dad who smiles too.

I come in to hug Hannah and Mom, and Dad wraps his arms around all of us, making us chuckle.

What losers, group hugging.

I let go and take another sip of my coffee chocolate as I flip quickly through the mail.

My blood runs cold as I see an envelope mailed:

To: "my little sisters"

From: "your big brother"

Across the envelope is written in red "private".

What the hell is this?

As soon as I pick it up, everyone knows something's wrong.

"It's from him." I say, "to us." I look up at Hannah.

"What? Let me see." Hannah comes over and takes the envelope to inspect it.

"Is there one for us?" Mom asks.

I scower through and find nothing.

I shake my head and she nods, holding back tears.

"He didn't even sign his name. Just 'your big brother'" Hannah remarks.

We exchange wary looks.

Hannah begins to open it, but I stop her.

"It says 'private' on the front. I think only we are meant to read it." I tell her.

"Come on, Kaylee. It's us." Mom says.

"We have to honor his wishes, mom. I'm sorry." I say. I lead a guilty Hannah out of the room and down the hall.

"Okay, open it." I say.

Hannah tears the envelope open to reveal a hand written letter.

"What the hell..." Hannah breathes.

We get close so we can read.

"Kaylee and Hannah,

If you're reading this, then I'm dead."