the summer after their childhood best friend commits suicide, six estranged friends meet up in his hometown for a holiday to clear their heads and honor his life. when the only thing that connected their different lives, backgrounds, and personaliti...
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thursday, june 29 arrival
THEY did not speak much at dinner. Elliott chose a chain restaurant partly for its close vicinity to the house, but he believed that the noise and bustling activity would cut down on the tension that he expected to sour the night. Yael was still sick, and her anxiety and impatience had forced him into a state of irritation. He looked up at her above his menu, her eyes sunken and tired, and shook his head.
Damn it, Elliot.
He reminded himself to understand and justify her anger, her ache, her agitation. It was his fault, and she should be allowed to heal at her own pace; he couldn't possibly fathom the anguish she was forced to endure, something that he would never be physically able to experience. He knew that he was not the most emotionally supportive boyfriend in the world, but his inherent hubris prevented him from being able to apologize for his disassociation and emotional unavailability. He was genuinely surprised at Yael's resilience and unfazed commitment, confident that she would have split with him the minute she found out. He vowed to be much more understanding and kind to her throughout the rest of the week.
One of Elliott's biggest flaws is his lack of empathy. He genuinely did not know how to be tender or how to be gentle. It was not his fault that he grew up in a cold and callous household with cold and callous parents, an upbringing devoid of fatherly baseball games, lavish birthday cakes, or family game nights. He was raised to be unfeeling, to be defensive and numb to emotion. Yael was the only person to teach him what love was and what validation felt like, something he felt like he was unable to return. He was not the best partner, but he loved Yael endlessly, eternally.
When Yael caught him at his weakest, he was unable to provide a single explanation or motive that would make any sense—to him or to her. It was a mistake, a red-hot blunder forged in the deceptive moonlight. It was nothing more, and he wished that Yael would see to his unsurmountable guilt.
But he could not be bothered with the turmoil that embittered their relationship. He smartly chose to invest his guilt and anger into organizing the get-together, a sabbatical for childhood friends to honor the one person that bound them together. Reconnecting with them was bizarre and arduous—he had to message Bobby on Facebook to get Sam's number, call Sam to get Clem's number, and convince Clem to give him Andrew's address.
It was not entirely truthful to say that he was friends with all of them in high school. Elliott, Yael, Sam, Bobby, and Max were close when they were younger, but their friend-group disbanded by the end of their senior year due to a reason unbeknownst to him; Bobby was off to Dartmouth, Max to Northwestern, Sam was working three summer jobs to save up for a trip to New York, and Elliott and Yael were left behind to live their blue-collar lives in Pennsylvania. He was not familiar with Clem, Max's older sister that he admired from afar in his youth, or the enigmatic Andrew, Max's college roommate and best friend, but he felt responsible for inviting the both of them.
