Happier A Christmas Love Story

Chapter 5 (Erica)

We just sat there in silence. I stunned myself with how I just blurted everything out like I was drunk. With one last drag of my cigarette, I move to go inside. When I get into the kitchen I go towards the freezer and pull out a 750ml bottle of Sour Puss, I grab a can of Sprite from the fridge and pour myself a drink. After taking a long sip I look over and see Jake looking at me intently. 

"Do you want me to make you one?" I ask. He shakes his head "No, I figure that won't be your only one tonight and hey you'll need someone somewhat aware to hold your hair back if needed" He flashes me a cute little smile. 

Wait did I say cute? Why did I say cute?

I take another long sip of my drink, before walking upstairs to get my Bluetooth speaker. While coming downstairs I hook it up to my phone and go through my songs. Back in the kitchen, I see Jake looking lost in thought.

"So I think I need to transition from sad, weepy, emotional phase into angry, cause I have more than enough reason to be angry, right" I laugh. He gives me a questioning look before smiling and he says "Go for it"

I go through my angry playlist, and come across 'I Miss The Misery' by Halestorm. Jake and I start dancing while I sing along, and for the rest of the night, he and I go back and forth picking songs. When we are all power danced out we lean against the counter and breathe heavily until his voice breaks the silence. 

"You know, from what you said earlier this guy did not know how to treat you right, so why even stay engaged?" I take another sip of my drink gathering the courage. 

"If I am being honest it started out great and he was perfect, we worked great I had my independence while we were still a couple. It was great, and after he popped the question things changed a little and I guess I didn't really notice just how bad it got. I was actually supposed to move in with him in two weeks, I gave up my apartment and everything, nearly everything is already packed and ready to go. Anyway, things started going wrong when we were supposed to go to dance rehearsals for what would have been our first dance together, he said that he had to work late and couldn't make it. Maybe he was screwing her then too." I take another swig of my drink. 

Jake moves past me to my phone in that moment and scrolls through what I assume is my music, he settles on a song and I hear the chords of 'Say You Won't Let Go' by James Arthur. Just as I am about to ask why he picked this song. He grabs my hand and twirls me around before settling a hand on my waist and the other clasping my hand and he starts us swaying in the kitchen. 

"I know it is an overly romantic song considering we haven't known each other more than three days but I figured you didn't get your dance lessons and you won't have a wedding to dance at, and every once in a while a girl should just get a nice slow dance." I smile at his nice thought, and I rest my head on his shoulder while we dance, as the song comes to an end I look up into his blue eyes and realize this is the first time since I had come out to these cabins that I didn't feel an overwhelming crushing pain in my chest. Dancing to a 3-minute song made it possible for me to have 3 minutes of peace.

I really need a smoke, but I don't know how to get out of this position nor do I really want to, there is a sense of comfort that radiates off of Jake. "Wanna come outside and keep my company?" I ask. He nods, before we go onto the deck he pours a drink for himself out of the cupboard above the sink he pulls out a bottle of whiskey and pours himself a glass. I raise an eyebrow in his direction he laughs a little bit " You are 7 drinks in I figure it is safe for me to have a couple or at least one." I smile then I head out to the deck and light up a smoke. 

"So may I ask why you started smoking?" He asks while sitting beside me. 

"My Mom. She and I hit a real rough patch when I moved out to be independent, and the only way to cope with stress was to turn back to what I turned to in high school and that was smoking. Darren always hated that I smoked and when he proposed we agreed that I would quit by the wedding...and well here we are." I take a long drag. "Thank you by the way" I whisper. 

"For what?" He asks genuinely confused. 

"For the dance, it was the first time since I have been here that I didn't feel a weight on my chest or pain in my veins, I felt good and relaxed. So thank you, those 3 minutes were just what the doctor ordered for tonight." I look over at him and smile "You know what. Cheers to freak snowstorms bringing two people together, one hurt and one confused, together maybe we can help each other sort our shit out" He laughs as we clink glasses. Our eyes lock as we both take sips of our drinks. I feel this strange stir in my stomach, at first I think it butterflies, the kind you get when you develop feelings for someone until I start feeling my drinks coming up and run for the nearest bathroom in the cabin. Unfortunately, I only make it to the kitchen sink before I throw up all the contents of my stomach. I feel his hands take my hair back while he rubs my back. 

Smooth Erica, smooth.