Smut and crap art book shit thingy (kill me plz ;3;)

💔Vent💔

Your nothing....

My mind says.

You'll always be just - Nothing....

And I just believe it. I go through the days, weeks, months, years, hours, etc., saying that to myself while feeling guilty as I hide my depression. I hope it gets better.

It doesn't....

If you don't know - I'm Pansexual. But the thing is - my family is homophobic. And though I'm afraid the person I'm most afraid of is - my own father...

I'm scared if I come out to him, he'll look down on me like I'm nothing....

Which I am...

I pray no one finds out I have anxiety attacks in private. I pray no one sees that I try and end it all.

I pray some one will come and hold me and tell me it's alright...

I'm the kid that just sits in the back of the classroom, waiting for someone to pick me as 'the last choice partner'. It's not like anybody would take me as a 'first choice'. I get bullied verbally but I tell no one. I hide it deep inside and just hope I don't break like the glass person I am...

When someone asks me how I'm doing - I just want to breakdown and curl up in their arms and tell them my problems.

But I don't.

I keep as strong as I can and push on with my problems. I keep praying and begging that my depression won't show. I pray no one can see the bags under my eyes from restlessness. I pray my friends don't turn their backs on me. I pray no one finds out the pain I go through.

I display my fake smiles and laughter to show that I'm alright - but deep down I'm not. I just cry out for someone to save me and help me.

I don't want to be alone and like - this anymore...

💔