The End & Beginning | BTOB Holiday Story Edition

PT.I | HYUNSIK VER.

There's exactly two hours before the clock strikes to twelve, before 2018 starts. And here I am, curled up in a couch while listening to Eminem's new song featuring Ed SheeranㅡRiver.

I stared at the shimmering lights of the Christmas tree. I'm not wearing my eyeglasses so everything's quite a blur. Just like how 2017 had been.

Seriously, how is this year already ending in two hours? What the heck did I do with my life? It feels like yesterday when I graduated from college and totally moved out of my parents' house. It feels like yesterday when every job interview seemed to bring my self-esteem down bit by bit. It seems like yesterday when I finally got a job and worked so hard as if my life depended on it.

Time flew away like that.
Just like that.

And now I am less than an hour away from 2018. I keep thinking about the things I want to change, things I want to be better at and how I would do it even though I know I would likely ignore any new year's resolution just like I always do every year.

Instead of sulking in the couch, I placed the cup of hot chocolate on the center table of my small living room and grabbed my phone to call my family. I was suppose to spend new year's eve with themㅡbut my boss had made me work extra paper work before the year ends. He really sucks like that.

It was my mom who first answered the group call. She actually looked like she was already sleeping.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked.

"No, I was going to anyway." She replied, rubbing her eyelids.

I smiled. "Where are the others?"

"In the living room. Probably celebrating new year the way they always do."

Like, not going to sleep until one. My siblings and my dad would wait for the clock to strike at twelve while sitting on the couch in the living room, with lots of food on the center table. Nobody would need to get up unless they need to use the toilet. We used to watch about three movies in one night until the alarm sets off and we would go to the balcony and watch the fireworks altogether.

Suddenly, I feel very homesick.
Maybe I should have stood up to my boss and told him that unlike him, I have a life.

Or do I, really?

Mom got up and from the background, I knew just where she's goingㅡto everyone else.

"Hey, is that Yeseul?" My brother asked, peeking on the camera.

"The one and only." I replied, hoping my grin covers how lonely I am.

"Your house is so dark! Turn on the lights." My sister said.

I didn't want to turn on the lights because I liked the way the small Christmas tree glowed up in the dark.

"Nah, you can see me anyway."

"Yeseul-ah, guess what I found?" My brother asked.

"What?"

"Your life song. Wait, I'll play it for you." He said.

And then So So by Baek A Yeon started playing and I half frowned, half grinned. My sister laughed. "What the hell!" I said, laughing later on.

"You should start dating next year. You're not getting any younger for someone who's never dated anyone." My sister said.

I replied a sigh. "As if I don't want to. I'm just not interested in anyone."

"Lower your standards!" My brother said.

"Why are you pestering your sister?" Dad asked and smiled at the camera. "How're you doin', sweet pea?"

I rolled my eyes at the last two words. "Just waiting for 2018."