"it's like i can't feel anything anymore." ethan chokes out, not looking me in the eyes anymore. suddenly, i find myself grabbing his hand in mine, rubbing the top of it with my thumb.
he squeezes back in response. i hear annabelle's car pull into the drive, and i can tell that he did too because he suddenly lets go of my hand and tenses up. he quickly wipes the few tears away, stands from my bed, and just walks out like nothing happened. i stare at my hand, and realize that it suddenly feels cold and empty. a part of me feels as if it was just ripped away.
++++
"you two are quiet tonight." anna states, her eyes flicking between ethan and i as we sit on opposite sides of the dinner table.
she's right. we are quiet.
but you don't just learn that someone's twin brother, someone who you care about , dies because he overdosed on drugs at sixteen years old because of his parents' influence before he was taken to london, away from everything he knew and just be able to not be quiet.
i glance at ethan across the table, seeing him mash the fork into his food, not looking at anyone. just staring straight forward. i can feel anna starting at me while i stare at him. her gaze lands on him, concerned.
"ethan, do you need to be excused?"
he doesn't respond.
slowly, he gets up out of his chair, everyone watching him including me, and he walks out the screen door, slamming it. why do i feel closer to him? suddenly feel the need to go out and embrace him, and make sure he's okay?
without permission, i stand up, pushing my plate away. tyler gets up with me, and looks ready to follow.
"ty sit-" i'm cut off by the sound of something hitting the ground outside.
"shit." i mutter, jogging out of the house.
