Apple.
- you walk up the isle with Bluetooth headphones.
- the ashes of the headphone jack scattered around you.
- the small of trash and tar from the nearby future house of your children makes you happy.
- you stand by Apple. He has a joint in hand.
- he takes one last smoke, and oh
- oh my FUCKING GOD
- HES GLOWING
- THE POWER RADIATING FROM HIM IS TOO STRONG.
- THE SKIN IS BLOWN FROM YOUR FACE.
- he is tHE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST!!!!!!
Samsung
- is super nervous.
- invited his whole practice to the wedding.
- that's the only family he has though.
- your family is so happy and has welcomed him to the family.
- everyone is in tears.
- he's blushing furiously.
- you can't help but giggle.
- then he brings up his hands and cups your cheeks.
- "now you may kiss the bride."
- instead you are stabbed in the chest.
- turns out he's a psycho murderer who only dated you for the thrill.
- should've went with Apple.
Google Pixel
- you get married in a corn field
- your family cannot know.
- everyone is against this.
- the only reason the local priest agreed is because you bribed him with money.
- you do get married. The one crow at the ceremony cried.
- until you get to the honeymoon.
- the social workers find you.
- turns out Google Pixel is kinda young.
- 17. Ouch.
- you get arrested.
- but he's your cousin so you kinda deserve it.
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Phone Preferences
Romance"Please have mercy on me, take it easy on my heart, even though you don't men to hurt me, keep tearing me apart." - the Dolan Twins New Band Team 10! Have you ever wondered what it's like to date phones? I hope the fuck not, but here we are because...
