I Wanna Be Yours (Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction) UPDATED VERSION

26 | Fluorescent

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Jamie's eyes fluttered around the table. "I was going to, but you all wanted to celebrate and I'd be the world's biggest buzz kill."

Nick's eyes softened. So did his voice. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

Collin took another swig of beer.

"It's fine," Jamie inhaled. "Things are what they are."

Nick leaned back against the reddish board behind him. "I didn't mean to bring her up."

"I know." Jamie gave a soft smile. "Alex and I talked on the bus. He has been making good decisions. I think... we've just all grown apart a little with our own problems. I don't want to fight—let's just be honest with each other from now on."

Alex and I made eye contact.

Collin shook his head. "Then to be honest, I thought we were going to celebrate our publicity breakthrough. I guess we're celebrating your breakthrough as a band. How sentimental. Let's get more drinks!"

Jamie laughed, rubbing his nose. His eyes looked sore. "Cheers!"

Collin brought his beer up and clashed glasses. His grip loosened and most of the drink ended up splashed on me. Nick's teeth seethed.

I got up, my shirt clinging to my belt, laughing to ease the tension. "It's fine. I'll be right back."

The shirt dripped as I walked to the washroom and heard the swinging door shut behind me. I tried to squeeze out all of the beer at the hem and rinsed it with water. Not sure if helped, but it was worth a shot. I felt like a bit of a mess, in all sense of the word. And Jamie was right: Alex and I could use a bit more honesty.

I washed my hands, scrubbed at the shirt with a paper towel, and tried to fix my hair in the rusted mirrors. Unlike the restaurant, the washrooms were bright and fluorescent and decorated with twinkle lights along the mirrors—and odd, but appreciated touch. The tile below felt hard on the balls of my feet. It was odd to peer back at the girl that met my gaze. She was a different person a while ago.

The hum of the lights above was the only sound being made, until the washroom door opened and startled me.

Alex.

I stopped trying to dry my shirt, a regrettable smile on my lips. "This is the girl's washroom, or could you not read the sign?"

He scoffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Why did you not want to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"About the hate you were getting," he said softly, gently.

The fluorescent lights buzzed, and I kept my mouth closed. My shoulders shrugged.

"You can trust me, you know."

"If I said anything, you were just going to get pointlessly upset. Like you did."

"I had reason to." Alex tilted his head, parting his lips. His pupils were dilated. "I've been afraid from the beginning that this would happen. I know how terrible some of the things people can say are."

"I know that they can be terrible as well. But I can't fix what everybody says when others are hurt—why try to fix what they say when I'm a target?" I shrugged again. "Plus, I'm nowhere near perfect. I should learn to take criticism."

"They can't criticize what they don't know. And nobody knows you well enough to," he shuddered. "But I want to, and that requires you telling me anything that bothers you."

The lights kept buzzing, just like they did under the food court. I rolled on my heels. "I can tell you, but why burden you with every little irrelevant problem?"

"I want to hear them." Alex stepped closer. "I can try to help."

"How?" The shirt dripped once on my shoe. "What if I don't think it's as big of a problem as you do?"

"It's because I know what it can do to somebody. They might not get to you now, but those kind of words have power."

"And if they do, I can handle them on my own. I'm not a child."

"You're right," Alex said, coming closer once more. "You're not a child. But even a woman as strong as yourself needs support."

I didn't realize I was so close to the wall when I leaned back and could feel it behind me. My breath comes out loudly. "I really didn't want to tell you because I know you were worried about it. I hate seeing you upset."

His lips slowly moved up. "And I hate seeing you upset, too. Let's promise to be more honest with each other."

My mind still stirred. Cotton filled my mouth—it was hard to swallow. "Then can I ask you something?"

Alex put a hand on the wall near my face. He was dangerously close. "Anything, darling."

"Does Arielle call you often?"

Something flashed through his eyes. My heart leaped through my chest as he grinned. "Ah, so you're jealous?"

I scoffed. "Please."

"Then why bring up my ex?"

The back of my neck itched. I didn't know how to respond. The lights really were intimidating—or was it the boy in front of me? "Does she?"

"She's tried to. I don't answer."

My voice is quiet. "But you have moved on?"

Alex leaned forward until his mouth was near my ear, breath hot. I could feel the smirk on his lips. "Leah, she has good reason to be jealous."

My chest lifted quicker. Blood rushed to my head.

"So the answer is yes, darling, I have definitely moved on."