babysitter g.d

seventeen : i promise, dan

update! i don't know anything about whether there's a medicine for longer lives but just go with the flow, alright, my lovely readers!! love yall !!

i went into the ambulance with dad. i persuaded mom to let me go with dad. we were on our way to the hospital. i held dad's hand. in my mind, all i could say in my heart was for dad to be okay. when mom told me that dad was getting more ill, i don't know what to feel. i feel so guilty because i didn't come and visit, spend time with him.

it bothers me so much. i'm scared he will go. and i don't want him to leave now. not when he haven't seen this baby of mine yet. i want him to be there for me once i give birth to the baby. he always wanted a grandchild from his own flesh and blood. even though he treated benson like one of his, it's not the same.

i cried from when i saw dad laying down on the floor, his eyes closed. he's supposed to be here for me. why must he be sick? why is there no medication to cure the sickness he's having? most people, their dads or moms, had cancer and they survived because there's medicine. why don't they have one for dad?

the ambulance stopped and soon, the back door was opened. the paramedics pulled the stretcher that he was on out of the ambulance and i followed along. i ran with them as they rushed him somewhere.

"dad, please wake up and be okay. i beg you. please." i cried as more tears spilled from my eyes.

he was pushed into a room and i was about to follow him in when i was stopped by a nurse.

"miss, you have to wait outside. we have to do some scans and procedures to him. we will inform you once we are done. for now, just sit in the waiting room." she said softly, holding onto my arms.

i didn't argue but obey. i didn't want to start a fight with the workers here. it will hold the process on dad. i just hope by keeping it to myself, dad will be okay. i really hope for him to be okay. i want him to be okay. no, i need him to be okay.

he's my hero ever since i was a kid. he was the one who made me giggle. he was the one who always tickles me. he was the one who bought me toys aside from my grandmother. he was the one who will tell me bedtime story before i go to sleep. he was the one who sent me to school everyday without fail.

i need him to stay strong for me. for my family. if he's gone, i don't know what will happen to me. it will be as if i lost my grandmother all over again. i love my dad with everything that i had. i told him that i will take care of him once i grow up but i didn't. all i said to him was just lies.

i said that i'm going to do something for him but i ended up not doing anything for him. i'm a disgrace to him. he shouldn't be facing this kind of things. it should be me instead. i just want him alive. if there is such thing as exchanging lives, i would gladly do it with him.

he deserves to live longer than me. he was nothing but good to me. never once did he hit me. never once did he scold me. he only advised me. he didn't raise his voice at me. and what did i do? i took it for granted. i should be here with him but instead, i'm having a great time with benson and grayson.

i sat on the chair in the waiting room and waited. mom soon came rushing in with thomas by her side. she had tears rolling down her cheeks. i know thomas wants to cry too but he's a guy and he doesn't want to embarrass himself. maybe he would but not now.

mom took a sit next to me and i quickly wrapped my arms around her. i couldn't stand it anymore. i just want this to be over. i want dad to be okay. i've said it so many times. but i don't know whether it's enough for him to be okay.

"mom, i want dad to be okay. he deserves to live longer, mom. i'm the one who should've had this sickness. i didn't take care of him when i promised him that i would take care of him once i grow up. i'm just a disappointment. i'm a disgrace to this family. i couldn't keep my promises. i didn't visit him, mom." i cried as mom kissed my forehead and she cried harder too.