So You're Back? Emison/Emaya

Chapter 1

Hey guys so idk I don't really hardcore ship Emily with anyone but my mind kind of demanded this be written so here it is.

So it started off as a drabble about Emily's reaction to Alison's return but then I kind of got some ideas !

I guess the story will mostly be a love triangle between Emily, Ali and Maya and how she's dealing with their SPOILER ALERT return.

Xo & enjoy

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Chapter 1- My Love Is Confused

As I sat in my room that night, not a single coherent thought passed through my mind, yet I was drowning in thoughts, memories. Alison was my first love, but she disappeared. Then there was Maya. Dead. Paige? Traitor. My love life was not exactly a lucky part of my life.

But did I still love Ali? I don't know. What about Maya? I remembered all those times with her, out on a walk in the park, just hanging out, out on cute dates. Our relationship resembled something close to perfect, before the whole True North thing, of course. I didn't know how I felt about Paige. Sure, I loved her, but it wasn't the type of love I felt when I was with Maya, or that time I kissed Alison.

Back to Alison. I knew that I loved her, it wasn't some kind of crush. I was in love with her, but she made it clear years ago that she didn't love me back. Then she disappeared, and supposedly died. But she didn't. And after tonight, she'll be back in Rosewood, and I'll have to see her again, every day at school, every night there will be the chance of bumping into her at the mall, or when I'm working at the Brew. Hell, she'll probably want back into our group of friends.

Friends. Could I really look at Ali as just a friend? There was a time I could, back when I thought I was straight, but things are different now. Way different.

I know I'm being selfish, and I should be thinking about how Alison will be dealing with this, or how Hanna's dealing without Caleb, or how Spencer is with her withdrawal. Hell, Ezra got shot and Aria is having a mental breakdown. But I couldn't get myself to think. She was my first love, and I had to figure out if I still loved her before I went about with my life.

I had wanted to come to the hospital with Aria and the girls, but Hanna had sent me straight home, seemingly understanding. I remember years ago, when Detective Wilden had found that letter I had written to Ali, Hanna had been very supportive. I guess she understands.

Which brings me back to the main question. Do I love Alison? I think so. When I saw her tonight, the main feelings I felt were relief and concern. She was okay, I could physically see that, but that didn't stop me from worrying. She was doing fine, but God, she was breaking and she needed a shoulder to cry on.

I should have probably been mad seeing as she pretended to be dead for years, but anger is a feeling I couldn't bring myself to feel. I wasn't confused as to my feelings, as Hanna clearly stated,

"I don't know if I want to slap you or hug you."

Because I knew perfectly well that I just wanted to hug her. Hug her until she felt better.

So did that mean I loved her, or was I just being a concerned friend? I mean, Spencer, Aria and Hanna were concerned too, right? But they were conflicted. They felt anger, too, whereas I didn't. Or did I subconsciously push that anger aside?

Feelings and emotions boggled through my mind, holding my thoughts captive and fighting the sanity out of me, leaving me confused and alone. What was I, a concerned friend or a long-time lover? And, gosh, did it even matter? Maybe she was straight. But would I ever be able to look at her the same way again, as a "friend"?

Did I even have a choice? I mean, she'd been gone for years, I couldn't just leave her out. We could never be that cruel. But what if the rest of the girls felt more anger towards her than needed? What if they weren't planning on remaining friends with her for the things she had put them through? Wouldn't that be great? Or- terrible? Or both?

She sighed. This was impossible. Shouldn't figuring out your own thoughts and emotions be easier than this?

What did she think of Alison? Who was Alison to her? What did she want from Alison? Her love? Her friendship? Her nothing?

Emily closed her eyes, trying to sort through her thoughts. Why was this so hard?

Her eyes fluttered open at a knock coming from the window, which was soon being pulled open. She gasped, running over to her bedside and grabbing a lamp, unplugging it and holding it up.

What if -A had come back to finish her off? What if they were upset that they didn't get to kill any of the girls, or get to Alison, so they came to kill her, and all she had in self-defence was this lamp?

Great, she was really worried now, and she couldn't do anything about it. It was like she was frozen in the shock of someone climbing up her window in the middle of the night. What would she do if they attacked her? Run? Hide? Attack? Defend herself?

Soon, the figure climbed in her room, and the girl in the hoodie pushed her black locks back, as if all this were a movie and it were playing in slow motion. Emily paused for a moment to take in this girl's angelic features, then gasped.

"Maya?"