Best Mistake

Chapter 6

Your stomach is tight and there is sweat collecting at the back of your neck. You can feel your legs slightly starting to shake.

How could you forget the bruise? You shouldn't have let her get so close to you.

"What do you mean?"

It is a stupid thing to say in a situation like this but you are freaking out too much to think of something better.

"You know what I mean! Don't play dumb now.. who did this to you?" She looks angry, brows furrowed and her hand still on the bruise, slowly and lightly stroking her thump over it. Her eyes show worry and care, her teeth biting her lower lip.

You are over flowed with emotions. A thousand things going through your head. What are you going to tell her? Should you just tell the truth? Why does she even care?

What should you concentrate on? You honestly like the attention she is giving you, hell, there were days where you were in bed imagining scenarios like this. But you can't bother to analyse any of it right know, or feel some kind of excitement because she can't find out about your situation at home.

You only have a year left, then you can just leave town, the country and never have to look back. It is too much work to go through everything that telling someone brings you and honestly, you are scared shitless of what it will mean. Of what your parents will do if they find out and where you will end up.

You may act tough and like you don't give a fuck about anything or anyone but in reality, you are just a scared and broken and love and a home.

"It's nothing of your concern alright?"

You snap at her and the instant it leaves your mouth you want to take it back. You know you should move away, get out of her sight but your body is not cooperating with you. Her face immediately falls and she snatches her hand back and away from your face. You already miss the contact, the warmth it brought you.

She looks hurt and small, nothing like the confident, strong woman she normally is. It is your fault and you hate yourself for it.

"I'm sorry, I just.. I didn't sleep well. It is really nothing, okey? Besides my class is about to start and my teacher does not like it when her students are late and I don't wanna piss her off now, do I?"

You tell her, you both knowing that she is the teacher you're taking about. It is a weak attempt at trying to be funny and to lighten up the mood. You try to smile but it feels more like a grimace. She doesn't buy it for one second, her face no longer looking hurt but you can still clearly see the concern in her eyes.

The schools bell rings, indicating for the conversation to end. A sigh leaves her mouth, indicating that she is going to let the topic go for now.

"No, you better not do that today." She mumbles, without a trace of humor.

You both start to walk towards class. No one saying another word, both of you in your own thoughts.

Both of you take your places at your seats. Ms. Gadot starts the class, all traces of her earlier inner troubles gone but you can see her throwing quick glances your way.

"You look like shit."

You forgot about Barrys existence.

"Thank you, love you too." You say back sarcastically. Your relationship is getting better and is almost bearable. 

"I'm just saying. You look like the equivalent of diarrhea. What's wrong?"

"Just tired Barry. Thank you for asking though." You tell him, this time really meaning what you're saying. It is nice of him to ask, to care and you are not gonna hurt someones feelings again, not for caring.

He just looks at you. A minute later he pulls out a can of Red Bull and gives it to you without saying another word. In that moment you regret every bad thing you ever said or did to him.

"Thank you."

He only smiles at you.

You put the can into your bag, saving it for the break. You lean back in your chair looking out the window, not even caring to listen to class or at least to stare at your teacher like you normally do.

Your eyes feel heavy, your head feels full, your body aches because of the bruises and your heart feels like someone is trying to rip it in two.

You think back to the fight with your father. His words repeating in your head and the look on his face not leaving your mind. How can someone who is supposed to love you no matter what, hurt you so bad? Your parents should be the two people who you can always rely on, who will always catch you when you fall, who will never hurt you. They should be the ones where you feel safe and loved. They should be your everything and you should be theirs. So why do your parents not hug you when you feel sad? Why do they not greet you with happiness and excitement when you get home or care to ask about how school is going, asking about any friendships you might have found or if you need anything? Why do they not sit down with you at the dinner table and share stories about how they met, how they where in school and how excited they were when they found out they were pregnant with you? 

Home should be the one place on earth where you always feel safe but it is the place where you feel scared the most.

You know what they are doing is wrong, you knew it from the first hit, from the first insult but there is still a little bit of hope that someday you will come home and they will love you with everything they have. Or that they regret what they are doing, that they are just as broken as you are and don't know any better.

You just want parents who care, a home. Love.

A hand holding a piece of paper on your desk interrupts your thoughts. You look up to see Ms. Gadot looking briefly at you, before walking on to the next student with a peace of paper in her hand.

You look at yours and see that she is handing back your last homework assignments. You had forgotten about it. At the back of the last page she wrote with an, of course, beautiful handwriting.

Great writing style Ms. Lively but next time please try to be more honest and less mainstream.

If she can tell that you are lying through text then there is no way that she will believe you anything in person. 

The bell rings and you pack up all your stuff to finally get away from her intense gaze.

"See ya later, Sian." Barry smiles at you and gets up, leaving in a hurry. He had something he had to go to but you don't remember what it was, probably because you didn't listen.

You have to change that. 

You are nearly past the teachers desk and out of the classroom, when Ms. Gadot drops a piece of chalk. You immediately bend down to pick it up for her but on the way back up a searing pain shoots through your ribcage, making you drop the chalk again and gasp in pain. You're slightly bend over with one hand on your ribs and your eyes squeezed shut, trying to breathe. You forgot again and fuck does it hurt.

There is a gentle hand on your back, rubbing up and down.

"Breathe. It's okey."

Her voice is directly besides your left ear and it gives you not only goosebumps but makes you panic, too. Of course it had to happen in front of her.

A few minutes go by, her hand still drawing circles on your back and reassuring words whispered in your ear, when you finally open your eyes again. The pain now down to a throbbing but it's bearable.

You're scared to look at her, scared of what you will find. Scared of what it will all mean.

"I'm sorry, I'm better now. I will just go." You hastily grab your back and try to leave when she grabs your wrist, making you stop in your tracks. The touch sending warmth through your body.

"Stay here." She says and as much as you want to, you can't. You continue walking, her hand hand dropping from your wrist.

"I can't." You leave.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys but the holidays came in the way.

And on that note: Happy new year everyone!