In the background

26/12/2917

I can hear noises in the background as I watch my bobby burns video. I pause it to hear exactly what's going on.
I only catch the end tail of the conversation but I can faintly hear the words "I'm gonna get outa here!" I know the voice of either one of two.
My mums, or her boyfriends.
It'd obviously my mums voice I can hear from down the corridor. I start to choke up as I hear her run down the stairs crying to herself.

She's in the sitting room and I can hear a loud cry from in there and yet her boyfriend is doing shit all to make her feel better... sometimes I hate him or can't be bothered with him, but now I have a reason.
I try to listen to her as the crying fades and I think she's on the phone to someone. I can't tell what she's saying but I know she's talking.

About half a minute later I hear the door swing open and slam behind her. I can feel the tears in my eyes but I know I can't cry In case he finds out I'm awake, it is 2:19 In the morning after all.

About 10 seconds after she's gone I hear coat hangers from their bedroom and footsteps leading to my door and my sisters door. I stop texting my friends about this event in fear  he'll open mine.
There's a knock at my sisters door, and again, and again. I assume he gives up as he just goes back to the bedroom.

I send my sister a snap on Snapchat asking if she's awake, I get not response. I assume she is asleep and is a very heavy sleeper.
I open a snap from my friend in PM saying that what ever I need I can talk to him, he is the only one talking right now, which would make sense cause he's In America.

I think back to when my friend Lucy was alive and her parents were going through a divorce and how she used to talk to this boy and he would give her advice on how to block out the shouting and all the destruction around her.

It's about 2:43 and I hear the door open and close. I can her my mum go into the sitting room. I think to myself, should I go down there? No, that would be suicide, you never intervene with their relationship... just to think, I was gonna come out to them today.

I stay quite in my room and let out a tear, it could be a sad one for knowing that my mum is in an unhappy relationship and I have to hear all the arguments or a happy one that she's home and safe... well... she's as safe as she can be... but I can't say anything about her emotions not being torn apart by a man that's meant to love her and yet he does noting but sit and do shit to make her feel better or go out to look for her.

I hear the ticks and the tocks on my clock getting louder so I decide to put in my headphones to listen to music and hopefully go to sleep.