Swift Encounters

Iliana - Unwanted Confrontations

My hands started sweating the moment those words left his mouth. My throat grew thick with on coming tears, i didn't want to talk about it, talking about it will only proof that I'm a useless little girl that can't stand up for herself.

Stoffel's hand slightly squeezed my own indicating that i had drifted off, lost in my own thoughts.

"Talk to me Lina, you know you don't have to be afraid, i won't hurt you."

'I won't hurt you'. Yes that was what Andrew also said, he won't hurt me but he lied he had hurt me.

"I i don't want to talk about it Stoff." My voice was small in the silent room.

"Don't do that Lina, please talk to me don't push me away."  Stoffel pleaded.

My heart wanted to break at his words, his voice sounding so vulnerable as if i drove a knife into his heart twisting it everytime i refused to talk to him.

"Stoffel please..." i started to say but i could see that he won't leave this conversation alone.

"No Don't do that Lina please, talk to me sweetheart."  He tried again.

Tears started welling up in my eyes..
How can he do this to me? How can he be this concerned about someone who's nothing to him?

"Why are you doing this? You don't know me, why should you even care about me? Why are you even here Stoffel?" Tears fell down my bruised cheek the small cuts stinging from the salty fluids.

Not saying anything else he pulled me onto his lap cradling me like a small fragile baby.
But i guess that's what i am? Metaphorically speaking.

And there we sat, not saying anything, he just held me as i cried and cried some more as reality set in, for the first time in a long time i had to face the truth even if i didn't want to.

It felt as if eternity flew by in a blink of an eye, Stoffel rubbing soothing sircles on my back and me, well i just sat there breathing in his unique smell, it felt like home being in his arms and it scared me.

"Are you ready to talk to me sweetheart?" He softly whispered, still holding me safely against him.

Slightly pulling out of his embrace i wiped away the lost tears, deciding that's it now or never.

"I..  i met him at a art gallery in Paris one day and we instantly connected, I'm not the best at meeting new people and mingling with people in general but when we locked eyes everything went out the window, we travled the world together." A small sad smile graced my lips as i thought back to the good old days.

"But, it didn't stay that way for long, few months into our relationship he started with verbal abuse, i thought that it might just be stress from work but that wasn't it, he was angry at me for some or other reason, it was about a year and a half into the relationship when the physical abuse started, most of the time i could cover it up but it only got worse a few months ago, and i couldn't tell anyone, I'm away from Casey and god i don't want to tell her cause i don't want to disappoint her she has done so much for me and here i am not even being able to stand up for myself? What would she think of me? So i just kept quiet about it and travled as much as possible."

My heart broke into a million pieces at the look on his face. I didn't want his pitty, i didn't want anyone to pitty me.

"Lina your sister won't think anything bad about you, your her sister, her only sister and she loves you so damn much Iliana, your only going to hurt her by not telling her about this, about everything that has happened, Lina she has a right to know."

"I know Stoffel! I know! You don't have to tell me something i already know!" I shouted at him.

I know i shouldn't have done that, it wasn't right of me to do that, but i didn't need him to tell me something i already know. I just don't want to do it, i don't want to tell her, not yet.

Shaking his head he stood up making his way out the room.

"Stoffel... Stoff please I'm sorry! Don't go okay I'm sorry! Don't leave me!" I cried out to him, wanting him... no needing him to stop to not walk away from me.

"I'll get Casey for you." He didn't even look back at me as he walked out the room, it felt as if he was walking out of my life but i knew he wouldn't, both of us just needed to cool down a bit.

I quickly as possible without hurting myself anymore than usually wiped at the tears as i heard my sister's cheerful voice coming closer, with a smile plastered on my face i waited for Case to enter.

It was nice to have my sister here even in this horrible situation it was refreshing to see her bright smile, her bubbly personality helped lift my bruised spirit. Without even knowing it she helps me.

Lying there in the hospital bed my sister next to me my thoughts ran wild with absurd questions and worries that had absolutely nothing to do with me... but i still worried about it, i think its just something to use as a distraction from all the shit that's going on in my life.

"Lina are you going to tell me the truth?" Case softly asked, running her fingers through my messy hair, she knew it would calm me down.

"I'm telling you the truth Casey okay just leave it! I told you i triped, nothing more nothing less, just please leave it."

I was a little harsh with her, i know I'm being a selfish bitch to the people who is only trying to help me, but this is something i need to do on my own.. i think?

Casey didn't bring it up again, she told me about how she and THE DANIEL RICCIARDO  met! And I'm so happy for her, she needs someone in her life that would keep things intresting and would cherish her and appreciate her for the amazing person that she is.

It didn't take long for my eyes to close on their own accord, laying my head against Case i fell asleep to her soft voice telling me that everything would be okay, that we would be okay, i knew that i still had to tell her the truth but that could wait for a while, for now i really just needed a good nap.