A chat // Lauren/You

27

I lock my phone, briskly throwing it beside me. The constant nagging of the different prospects of Lauren's explanation mocking me, weighing me down like a rope tied around my neck and onto multiple rocks, drowning me in my mental ocean of darkness. I couldn't help but not believe her, yes I trusted her and yes my will to believe her was and is strong but my gut is pricking me and telling me that my will right now should, realistically be weak.

I run my fingers through my hair, sighing indefinitely. My mind is going crazy, swirling with multiple queries, antagonising me, bullying me. I'm hardly lured out my thoughts when a knock on the door reflexively makes me jump on my feet.

There leaned Camila on the doorway, hair an inky lock of waves, falling over her shoulders. Her bangs covering her eyes the slightest, though despite the minor curtain, her chocolate eyes seem to sparkle upon seeing me. She had dark circles under her eyes, something that hints she's makupless though whether her face is caked or not, her beauty is truly angelic.

"You didn't answer my texts so I thought I'd come up." She comments, eyes roaming over my bare stomach and legs. She bites her lip, unaware of my perplexed eyes on her.

"Um, you can come in." I reply, nerves an awkward bundle in my stomach. Was she checking me out? If so, why? Questions and confusion lurked within me, both things I wanted to express to her. To ask. Despite the downside mine and Lauren's relationship is having, it still is disrespectful of Camila to watch over me that way. Nevertheless I lead her to the sofa, ignoring the swirls of voices insisting on prying her purpose, why did she message me? Why does she need me?

She lets herself fall onto the comfort of the couch, I drop next to her. Her eyes meet mine, the tension thickens. My confusion quadruples. "So I'm sure you're wondering why I wanted to speak to you." She states, for the first time tonight, I notice how red and puffy her eyes seem. She looks exhausted, saddened even.

I merely nod, words don't seem to merge an answer. She sighs, "Me and Ariana broke up." Upon saying that I see a single tear drop from her eye. Her profile only visible to me but the waterworks aren't passed by, after the one tear made the start, more rapidly followed.

I bite the inside of my cheek, knowingly not having a clue about how to consolidate her. Not trusting my words I pull her into me instead, upon the contact she bawls into my chest, her whole being shaking. "I really loved her. I loved her so much, but just like everyone else, she left too." Her voice breaks, it breaks with so much emotion, so much raw emotion that I myself squeeze her tighter. No matter how badly she hurt my friends, I didn't want this for her.

Right now wasn't the time to dwell on that and what has happened between fifth harmony, nor ask her why she did what she did, though I'm almost certain there was a specific reason as to why she quit.

I kiss the top of her head, in hopes of miraculously soothing her headache, although I'm not quite sure how such a gesture would help her, nothing can help anything when it comes to the person you're in love with leaving. "It's okay, I'm here."

"It's not long before you leave too." She croaks, her head lazily resting on my shoulder after minutes of crying endlessly, i'm quite surprised it's only taken her minutes and not hours to come out of the emotional haze. Her breaths came out rapid and short against my neck, her hands rested lightly on my waist.

"I'm not going anywhere mila. I will be here for you, I promise."

Upon hearing that she pulls away from me, sniffles and wipes at her eyes. She fiddles with her fingers mindlessly before her teary eyes meet my own again, "Y/N I need to tell you something."

I nod, "I'm all ears."

She sighs, with a simple shake of her head she looks down. "The reason why I quit the group isn't because I was being selfish or because I wanted to leave the girls behind. The management is toxic, fifth harmony is toxic."

I furrow my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

She sighs again, this time eyes on me. "They wanted me to be in a relationship with someone a lot older than me because they wanted the fans to stop believing in Camren, to stop believing I'm gay. As you know I couldn't take the pressure. I couldn't take how the girls were treated. I had to leave, if the limelight isn't on me, then the girls will all be equal instead of me being so unluckily favourited by them. I never wanted that. I wanted all of us to be equal and happy but it just didn't go that way and the girls simply do not see that."

I pull my lip between my teeth questioningly, "Why did they favourite you? Why was that necessary?" I finally ask.

"They wanted to create drama, tension. Something to get the media talking. Little did they know that, that would break the group instead of make it." She rubs at her temples, her face scrunching up painfully. I should ask her if she's stable, I should ask her if she needs anything. She's clearly not just in heart pain, she's in physical pain too but unfortunately for her, my curiosity got the better of me.

"Have you explained this to the girls? Why you left?" I inquire, though I already know the answer all too well, alas I couldn't help it. I had to ask. She's being so misunderstood and so misjudged right now that maybe she might have an explanation of her own to everything that revolves her leaving the group.

"I tried calling numerous times but my own manager has made me cut all contact. I'm not allowed to speak to them." Another heart wrenching tear cascaded down her tanned cheek. "I do love them you know, I spent my best years with them."

I didn't bother asking about why her manager made her cut all ties loose, I figured the answer out already. "I know you do, just give them time. Eventually they will see that okay?"

I run my fingers over her hand soothingly, she looks up at me. This time her eyes strictly fixated on my own, hers twinkle. I never knew brown eyes were so pretty, her brown eyes are really pretty. There's a sparkle in them that I've never bothered to notice before, a sparkle as if a star is trapped in each of them. She leans closer, a lot closer. Her plump pink lips just hovering over my own closer.

Without calculating my thoughts, her lips were already on my own. Soft and fitting, I couldn't help it, I couldn't control it. They were so satisfying to kiss, so beautifully dominating that I moaned softly against her. I bite down on her lip, desperate for an extra taste of her, she groans. A low groan but a groan that was enough to ignite a fire within me.

"How could you do this to me?" Lauren's water filled green eyes stare back at me in horror. Horror because I was quick to ruin our relationship when the first difficulty entered. I gasp against Camila and push her away, my eyes quick to blink back tears at what I had managed to do. Wreck everything.

"This was a terrible mistake."

"I'm sorry Y/NN. I shouldn't have taken advantage of the situation." She says, a tone full of sincerity. I do not dare look up at her and back into her brown eyes. Although I know she's avoiding my face too, I can sense her embarrassment, her guilt. God, what just happened to me? What possessed me and took over my actions? What is she doing to me? "But, you do need to speak to Lauren. There's something she needs to tell you."

At that, my gaze snaps right onto hers. Ignoring everything I feared I would feel. No matter what's happening to my heart right now, Lauren Jauregui is dominating it and there's nothing anyone can make me feel that will compare to that. "What do you mean?"

"Just speak to her." With that said, she got up and smiled at me before disappearing. I didn't stop her, I didn't want to stop her. The guilt of what we both let happen is catching up to me and I'm not sure I can live with Lauren leaving me, my selfishness is getting the better of me in this situation. However the more reasonable and selfless side of my heart is telling me that this is the perfect opportunity to save her. To keep her away, to allow her to move on without me.

That's the best for the both of us.

A/N:

This is shit, enjoy

-Savv