Meant to be

Always have I
been scared
been afraid
but not anymore!
what are we so afraid of anyway?
Fear?
Rejection?
Being different?
Embarrassment?
What is it?
Why do we hold ourselves back so much!
I'm on my way to a new life I'm not there yet but everyday I'm trying I'm trying my best and that's all that matters,
It's paying off too,
I am doing things my old self wouldn't have even considered let alone attempt.
And honestly it's the best feeling!
I know am not even close to the end of this journey
I'm just getting a taste but that's ok because it will be worth the wait.
I want to better myself
Love myself for once
It will not be easy but I'm willing to try
How could I not know everything I was missing, this feeling it's something new something real it feels free so free as though I could fly!
I'm not tied down, to anything to anyone
I've tried to explain it
or describe this feeling to others and honestly I can't, not well enough anyway,
I hope it's not only me.
this needs to be shared
this happy high,
I will not always feel like this that I know but I do hope it will stick around awhile,
I want to be stuck at the top of this Ferris wheel,
where I can see everything and the air is so clear
before I'm pulled back down to earth to reality.
but if I am to never come down what about the others?
am I depriving the other riders of this feeling?
This experience?
why should I be so lucky as to be the one to stay
to hold on
what about the people at the bottom.
Don't they also deserve to see the view to know the truth,
or is life not really like that at all?
Are we always at the same levels hustling and bustling throughout our days the same way,
is it more like a carousel all of us going round and round with the occasional up and downs
at least that way everything would be fair and even right?
Thing is you can see much more on top of a Ferris wheel than a horse,
Well I don't believe it's like that at all not a carousel indeed
but the Ferris wheel does tell it right,
so then if the top is the most desired shouldn't that be everyone's goal?
Are we all shooting for the top of the Ferris wheel?
And if not why?
There are days I look around and I  am up there on the very top but I'm alone,
I have no one else to share it with,
but why is that?
Is it because they can't or is something holding them down
what is it anyway?
Fear?