dedicated to @Someone_in_time thank you for requesting this. I really hope you like it.
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I sit on my bed and ponder my existence. He really cheated on me. A fucking decade wasted on him. I fall back on the sheets and stare at the ceiling. I just can’t believe it. I gave him everything I’ve ever had and he threw it away on some tramp from Whales. The thought of that alone hurts like hell… my first and only love didn’t care as much as I thought he did.
I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice the tears until the soggy pillow got uncomfortable. “I need to do something.” I say to myself, refusing to take this bull shit anymore. I get up and throw on some skinny jeans and a t- shirt. I grab the keys and one of the hoodies he left and walk past the freshly signed divorce papers
I sit in the coffee shop stare and at the couple in front of me. How dare they sit in front of me!? I stare at them so intently and with so much hate that I don’t even notice the ginger head of hair walk into the café until he sits in the seat directly in front of he and stares like his life depends on it.
His hair is the only thing that’s bright about him. He looks like he hasn’t slept for weeks and he is extremely unshaven. His clothes are all black and seem too big on him. He smells of alcohol and day old cigarettes. Even his eyes are the dullest shade of blue I’ve ever seen on him, but they stare into mine so intently I don’t even care. A sick part of me is delighted that he looks so bad, but the rest of me wants to take him in my arms and make sure nothing ever happens to him. His voice only weakens the boarder I’ve been building for months.
“Hi.” It’s the only thing he says but it’s the way he says it that makes me want to cry for him. He sounds exhausted and his voice broke in a way so painful I have to leave before I loose all control. “Bye.” I say grabbing my coffee and his hoodie. “No, Leanne please.” I stop without meaning to. That voice. His pain is greater than mine. How!? He's the one that cheated! This is his fault! I turn to him with so much rage that I almost slip and fall “Why in the blue fuck do you think you’re allowed to be hurt!? We wouldn’t have this problem if you hadn’t cheated! You’re the one to blame here so stop looking at me like that!”
The silence that follows my words is long and almost as painful as his presence. The whole place got quiet and I feel people’s eyes on me. But its Ed's eyes that I’m staring back into. It’s like I kicked a puppy. He looks like he’s about to cry and I decide I don’t want to be there to see that. I turn and walk out of that building as fast as I can. I sit in my car and put my head against the steering wheel. I close my eyes and the memory of his bright blue ones come to me. It’s our wedding day, and I’ve never seen him so happy. He swirls me around the floor with the grace I never knew he had, but he does and it’s beautiful. We dance and dance for what seems like hours in the best way possible and when the song ends I don’t want to let him go.
I lift my head from the steering wheel and sigh. I love him. I hate that I love him so fucking much! One drink and an apology and I'd forgive him 100%. This totally sucks. When I finally get my shit together enough to actually drive I notice Ed looking at me through the window with the tears in his eyes spilling out. I also notice that it’s raining and he’s soaked. I sigh and begrudgingly open the door for him. “Get in.” I say hoping he’d reject my offer. But he doesn’t and he gets in and stares at the dashboard. “Thank you so much.” He says. “Where you going?” I ask pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot, “wherever you want to drop me off.” He says finally stealing a glance at me. “Where are you staying?” I ask a little bit annoyed. “I'm couch surfing… I left some things at the apartment… could we go there?” I nod and start the 5 minute drive to our… my apartment.
The drive to the apartment is 10 minutes. Usually with music and his singing it would've felt like half that, but this ride is silent and awkward so it feels like hours. When we do finally get there he jumps out of the car to try to open my door like he always has, but I don't give him the chance and get out without his help. So he rushes to the door and opens it with the key he keeps on his keyring. He holds it open for me and I mumble a thank you.
He comes into our -used-to-be- home and closes his eyes. I watch him take in a deep breath and hold it like he's reliving all the memories we'd shared. I know that's what he's doing, I've done about a thousand times since he left. I state until he slowly opens his eyes and looks at me. "I hate myself." He says "All my friends hate me, they call me stupid every single day and I say I know cos I do know I've lost one -fuck that- the best thing God has ever given me. I'm so very sorry. I love you. I'm an idiot. Please don't leave me I'll never be happy without you." His gaze shifts back to the carpet and his tears ramp back up. I thought that's what I'd need to forgive him, but I need more.
I sit on the couch and stare at his once blue eyes. "Why did you do it? Why did you cheat on me?" I ask. His face immediately turns up and he says "I was black out drunk. I don't even remember." "Get out." I whisper. That's not the answer I wanted. "Get out!" I scream, I can't handle him being here. I can't handle his tears or his fucking eyes or his existence. But he doesn't leave. Instead he leans on the wall and says "Yell at me." "What?" "Yell. Tell me all the hell I put you through and how you hate me and that you'll never be able to look at me the same way. Then I'll leave and I won't ever come back."
I look at him dumbfounded, why does he want that? But this gives me the outlet I need. I need this. "You ruined my life. You ruined our whole fucking marriage cos you we're 'black out drunk'! How the hell do you think I've been feeling these last couple months huh!? I've been sick Tony stomach just thinking about it! What did I do wrong!? Why don't you love me anymore!? I haven't even been able to sleep at night cos you're all I think about god damnit! And you think its okay to just apologize!? You know I'll forgive you! Cos I love you more than anything on this fucked up planet! And I'd forg-" his kiss ends my speech. His lips have been on my mind forever and I could never truly remember how they felt, nothing my imagination could fathom would ever be as amazing as this. His lips are soft and passionate and awesome. His hands touch my waist and he carries me to our bedroom.
Once we get there, he lays me down gently and stares into my eyes. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." He whispers into my ear and starts kissing my neck. I sigh and start to relax under him, letting him do whatever he wants. And he does, his kisses trail to my chest and kisses every inch. Then they head toward my soaking wet pussy and starts to lick, touch, blow, and do everything I like. I moan his name and play in the ginger hair that I love so much. His kisses trail back upward and his member starts to slowly slide up and down my sex. My hands wrap around his back a d I whisper how much I've missed this into his ear. He sighs and slowly inserts himself into me. We move together like harmony, and I love it. He whispers how much he loves me and how I'm his universe and how absolutely perfect I am. My moans start to grow louder along with his and we start moving faster, soon we both cum with each other and he starts to kiss me again.
"You can stay here if you want. You don't have to leave." He smiles for the first time in months and says "Are you sure? You'll never have another chance to get rid of me." I nod and smile with him. "I'll never ever want to."
XxX
Wattpad wouldn't show it all so I deleted it and tried again.
YOU ARE READING
Ed Sheeran Smut
أدب الهواةMy friend said my make out scenes were good so I'm going to try to write smut
