Dreams So Blue - A Jyrus Fanfiction

•; 02 - cyrus

"can you feel yourself erasing?"

—

"You won't believe what happened! It's a good thing you're here!" Andi said, beaming.

"We have news!" Buffy practically screamed.

"So do I.." I replied monotonously.

Today's the day I tell you that I'm gay..

"Ours is bigger," Andi assured me.

"That's literally impossible," I protested.

Now both of them were standing in front of me when they screamed:

"Jonah and Amber broke up!"

"For real." Buffy said, making sure I understood what we were talking about.

"You're sure?" I asked, perhaps sounding a bit too hopeful.

This could be my big chance.

"It was confirmed by three sources. And one of them was Jonah—" Andi replied.

"He's a free agent! Aren't you glad you came to school today?" Buffy asked, cutting Andi off mid-sentence.

Buffy turned to Andi and gave her a smirk.

"It probably doesn't mean anything for me.. but what if it does? He could be with anyone he wanted. But what if it's me?" Andi said, anxiety coursing through her veins.

My heart shattered. Andi likes Jonah too? Oh yeah, now that Amber is out of the way, she can pursue Jonah freely. Dammit.

—

Now that's two obstacles in my way; coming out to my friends (and Jonah) and Andi liking Jonah too. I suppose this won't work out like the happy ending I've been dreaming of. Sigh.

I have to tell them before Andi can tell my crush how she really feels.

After Andi left, Buffy asked if I was happy for Andi. Of course I was happy for Andi! She finally had a chance with the boy of her dreams. But that boy was also the great love of my life too. We can't share him.

"I have something really important to tell you Buffy.. And you can't tell anyone until I'm ready to tell others too. I'm trusting you." I told her, hoping to get my point across.

"Okay, sure." She said cheerfully.

"Meet me at The Spoon around 5 p.m. tonight, okay?" I told her.

I couldn't tell her here. Someone might hear.

"See you then!" She enthusiastically responded.

—

Classic Buffy. Always late.

It was already 5:10 and she still wasn't here. I shouldn't be upset because she's always this late but I counted on her this time—this was a really important thing I was about to her!

Around 5:15, Buffy came rushing through the door.

Finally.

"Sorry I'm late, my mom was on FaceTime!" She said, sounding a bit sad.

Buffy's mother had been overseas fighting in the Army for almost 5 months so far so it's understandable why she was late—I couldn't be mad at her for that.

"Did you order the baby taters?" She asked.

I shook my head no.

"You're scaring me..." She whispered in reply.

'I'm scaring me too..." I told her.

"Today after Andi left, you asked me if I was happy for Andi. And I said 'Yes.. I'm happy for Andi..' but I'm also not happy.." I said, crying.

"How come?" She asked, confused. But then, it hit her.. "Are you jealous?"

I shook me head yes.

Then she asked me: "Cyrus, do you like Andi?"

That's when I broke down. I don't know if I can tell her anymore. She saw how upset I was becoming. But I called her here to tell her the truth... the whole truth. And there's no backing down now.

I regained my composure and answered by shaking my head to indicate a 'no.'

Isn't it obvious? If I liked Andi, would I be having this kind of reaction right now?

Suddenly, it hit her.

"You like Jonah..." she whispered, trying to understand what the hell I just told her.

I silently mouthed a 'yes' and wiped the tears from my bloodshot eyes.

"Buffy. I feel weird. Different.." I continued.

"Cyrus..." she took my hands in her own and held them tightly. "You've always been weird. But you're no different." She told me, happily.

A small smile cracked through all the pain I was feeling. For once, since I started having these feelings, everything felt okay. I felt okay.

"I'm glad I told you." I whispered.

"Me too," she said, beaming.

"But the thought of telling anyone else—" I broke down again.

"You'll be okay. I promise." she reassured me.

"This is really bad timing..." I started to feel tears again. "Andi just told us she liked Jonah too..." I continued, about to cry again.

Buffy enveloped me in a hug. It felt really good in the moment. I was protected and loved. But out there, it's me facing the whole world. So I enjoyed this hug as long as I could.

We then parted and she smiled warmly at me before whispering a "see you tomorrow.."

Yeah, tomorrow...