Until Proven Innocent

CHAPTER TEN

BEFORE
Weston Waters
January 24, 2016

I've been back at work for two weeks now. It's almost as if there's been a shift in the atmosphere. A reverse metamorphosis, where rather than evolving, I'm shrinking, unbecoming the man I once was.

I've become distant from my work and my patients. I can't sit still or relax without my mind drowning in thoughts of Cordelia, how she's doing at home without me. There's a heavy guilt that weighs me down – a guilt that does not belong to me. This is not my fault. None of it is. Yet I feel guilty for what happened to her. For leaving her to return to work.

How is a man supposed to make a decision like that? Return to work – his life-long passion and what makes him happy – or stay home longer with his sick wife and child.

Doctor Wyatt assured me that she would be there as often as she could, and when she couldn't be there, another doctor would be. Cordelia would never be unattended with Emerald. Still, I fear that something may happen. That Cordelia may have another psychotic break and harm herself. Or worse.

It makes me ill worrying about her so much. She doesn't deserve to go through this. She's a great wife. And she may not be the best mother right now, but she will be. I know she will. We just have to get through this. In a few years we will look back and this will all be something of the past. She and Emerald will be inseparable, going for walks, painting each other's nails – all the things that mothers are supposed to do with their daughters.

Cordelia has always been a very headstrong woman. From the moment I met her back in school, she was always a go-getter. Chasing her dreams, pursuing what she wanted. That's what I admired most about her. If she wanted something, she made sure to get it. That's how she got me.

I was dating Hannah Turner when Cordelia and I first met. She was in her freshman year, and, for reasons unknown to me, was taking a third-year psych class. I still remember it like it were yesterday. She sat down in the seat next to me, swiftly bringing out her notebook and scribbling down what the professor was saying. She was late for class, as I'd later find out was routine for her. Her hair, a shade of vanilla pudding, was pinned in a high ponytail.

She noticed me staring. I think people can sense that – when someone's eyes are watching them. She looked up at me and I looked away, not fooling anyone to the illusion that I wasn't staring. But I could tell that she was still staring at me. Even though the professor was talking, she didn't look down and continue writing. She kept staring at me, daring me to turn my head and face her again.

Slowly, I did. She was looking at me with these big brown eyes, doe like. "Do you need something?" She asked. I stuttered, unsure what to say. I was nervous for some reason, and I didn't normally get nervous.
"Do you have a spare pencil?" was the only thing I managed to say. Her eyes drifted downwards to the pencil that I was holding in my hand. I followed her gaze, then quickly jammed it into the desk, breaking the tip. I looked back up at her and shrugged. She laughed and gave me a pencil. That was how it began.

Hannah was great, but we'd only been dating for six months when I met Cordelia. It wasn't a difficult decision to do the math on that one. Some believe that it's wrong to cheat on your partner, but I didn't intend for it to happen that way. We were friends, Cordelia and I – nothing more. Until we kissed. And then I couldn't help myself. I knew I couldn't continue dating someone while seeing Cordelia, so I broke things off with Hannah. I never really thought about her again.

I graduated two years later – while Cordelia was just starting her third year – but I promised her that we would stay together, and that nothing, not even distance, would come between us.