Chasing Embers | 1

22 | R a g a n

—

Sending the message was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I almost prayed that Aragova would deny my message to the rebels. If she was watching me from her throne in Diadona, I'm sure she would feel pity. I hated the rebels. It wasn't because of what they fought for, it was who they were.
    
I knew I would eventually have to tell my friends. I would have to tell them everything. It would break me, but it had to be done. They needed to know the truth about Maddox. Who he was. Why he was who he was. What he did and didn't do. I dreaded thinking about the day I would tell them.
    
Hopefully, that day wasn't today. I prayed to the gods that nothing would go wrong. I hoped our plan of hiding out until the rebels contacted us, or showed up, would work. It had to work. Nothing could go wrong, or we were screwed. Nothing would go wrong.
    
Yet, I couldn't help but think that this wouldn't work. So many things could go wrong. Maddox could find us. He could find us, with an even bigger army this time, and he could demolish us. Then, there was the flip side that we had wiped out almost his entire Guard, just the four of us. Well, three, since Ember spent most of the time digging through a bag. The fight had damaged their reputation, but I doubted Maddox let the citizens know that. The Guard, an army of the most highly skilled men in Auchterton, had been beaten by three teenagers. That fact alone gave me some hope.
    
But if we wanted to win, it would take more than bringing down just the Guard. Maddox needed to go down as well. He was the greater threat. We had to make sure he went down, to end the chase for Ember. She was the spark of the revolution, and chasing embers is impossible once the fire begins to burn.
    
It would be a challenge to both me and my friends. Maddox was more powerful than they thought. I had only caught a glimpse of what he could do, and that was eight years ago. I didn't like to think about that day when my mom died and my dad abandoned us. It had dawned on me before that I, too, had left. I left Maddox with no one to lean on, and maybe that was why he was the way he was. Maybe it was all my fault.
    
He hadn't meant to hurt me, but being a young girl, I was sensitive to his words. In my mind, I was trying to help, but I really only made things worse for him. If I had just been quiet, supported him only with a hug, would things be different?
    
I could feel my world crumbling around me. I was falling apart. It all started when a girl made a giant hole in my wall. But, it had begun even before then. Abandoning my brother, becoming a Seeker, and getting involved with the rebels had led up to this point. Everything that the people around me were going through was because of my actions. My friends were being forced into a new life because of me, a life I knew they didn't want. It was a life I didn't want either, but at the moment, it seemed to be our only option.
    
Then again, I thought about what might have happened if Hunter had brought Ember to a different Seeker. She could be dead already. Maddox could have killed her if she had been somewhere else. Or maybe she would have never discovered that she was a Valarious. She and Hunter could have been happy together. Wren and Adara could be safe just down the street from Calix's house, going on with their lives. I could be sitting in my home, slowly rotting away.
    
"Are you okay?"
    
I heard Ada's soft voice come from the top of the stairs that led to the basement. She was watching me as I perched on a chair in the kitchen, staring out a window. I knew she was going to try and comfort me. Only she could probably see the situation I was in.
    
"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" I questioned, turning my head in her direction. I already knew the answer to my question.
    
She pulled out the chair next to and sat, leaning her chin on her hand with her elbow propped up on the kitchen table.
    
Ada sighed, her eyes filled with sorrow. "This whole mess we're in seems to be revolved around Ember, and she seems fine. But I also see now with the brother thing, how it revolves around you. So what's going on that's making you act so seclusive?"
    
I leaned back in my seat, running a hand through my ink black hair. "I have the whole puzzle sitting in front of me with all the pieces. I understand why everything is happening. But you don't. You guys don't have all the pieces, and I'm not sure I can give them to you quite yet. It just complicates everything."
    
She nodded. I could tell a part of her felt hurt that I was keeping secrets from her, but it was for her own good.
    
"I want to help you as much as I can, even if that means I do it without all the pieces to the puzzle."
    
I looked at my hands. "I understand that, but I'm not sure it's possible. You're right when you say that Ember and I are at the center of this. The rebels will want her for an advantage over Maddox, and he wants her dead. I'm just the one that links them together, in ways that you don't know yet."
    
Adara looked at me as if I had stabbed her. The hurt reflecting in her multicolored eyes revealed everything. My best friend, one of the only friends that I had, thought I was betraying her.
    
I shook my head. "I promise I'm on your side, Ada. This is just more than a revolution. It has become personal between the rebels and my brother. The rebels think that if I join them, it will be a major blow to Maddox's rule. I'm not convinced of that. He doesn't care about me. To him, I'm just another citizen."
    
She tilted her head, still seeming a bit upset. "Are you sure? It seemed pretty personal to me this morning. I think you don't want to believe that he cares for you. You're his sister. He has to love you a little if not at all."
    
"I won't betray you."
    
"I know," she whispered.
    
"You're my best friend. Nothing will change that."
 
"Good, because you're stuck with me forever."
    
We laughed at that. I was glad to have a friend like her. She made every dark situation feel light. We balanced each other, all my negativity against her positivity. I'd never had a friend like her, and I didn't think I would ever find another who could lift me up in the way that she could. I knew that once this was over, I would still have her and Wren in my life.
    
Ember was a different story. She and I still tested the waters. I wasn't sure of her yet. I almost saw too much of myself in her. It made me want to close myself off from her. A girl who, on the outside, seemed tough and ready for anything that came her way, but on the inside, she was scared and alone. She can't trust anyone, in fear that they will turn their back on her. I saw myself in her, and it made me stronger.
    
It gave me the strength to push through. I felt the responsibility of getting her out safely. Her life depended on me, on all of us. One wrong turn and we were done for. I hated the idea of failure. Losing this war meant failure. I could not fail. We would get to the rebels safely. We would win this rebellion.
    
"Whatever you end up doing, Ragan, just be careful. I hate seeing you hurt." Adara smiled at me and stood, walking back the way she came.
    
"Thanks, Ada. For. . . everything."
    
"You're welcome, honey."