"Ben? Can we talk?"
"Come in, Master Luke."
"You can call me Uncle Luke when you're not in training." He ducked into his nephew's tent. Ben was sitting shirtless on his cot with a pensive look on his narrow face. "Ben, what's going on with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your head hasn't been in your training. What's going on? I thought you wanted this."
"I do, Uncle Luke. I want to be a Jedi more than anything. It's just..."
"It's just what, Ben?"
"I really miss Jaliyah."
"You knew you would have to leave her behind when you started your training."
"I know. But I didn't know it was going to be so hard being apart." There was a slightly petulant note in the young man's voice. "Sending holo messages by droid just isn't the same as being with her. You know it's been almost a year since we've seen each other."
"I'll tell you what, how about I let you go home for a week. You can spend your birthday with your parents and spend some time with your girlfriend. Would you like that?"
"Oh, yes!" Ben looked up at his uncle with a grateful smile.
"And when you come back you'll be able to concentrate better on your lessons?"
"Yes, Uncle Luke. I promise."
"What are you guys doing here?" Han inquired when Luke's landspeeder pulled up to the house.
"Someone was getting a little homesick," Luke stated when Ben jumped out. "I'll come back to pick him up in a week. Right, buddy?"
"I'll see you soon, Uncle Luke," Ben replied.
"I didn't think you'd miss us that much," Han commented as he hugged his son.
"I don't think we're the ones he misses that much," Leia said wryly. "Go drop your things off in your bedroom and go on and visit her, Ben. She'll be happy to see you."
Ben knocked on the door of Jaliyah Dungrian's house with happy anticipation.
She opened the door after a moment or two and stood in the doorway, more exquisite than in his memories with her soft naturally wavy dark blonde hair kissing the top of her shoulders. His heart leapt at the sight of her. Perhaps he was too young at nearly sixteen to understand the intricacies of true love, but in his heart and his mind he was in love with Jaliyah. She was the purest, most radiant girl he had ever known.
"Ben!" She gasped, sounding more surprised than delighted. "I didn't know you'd be back so soon."
"I'm not back," he told her. "I'll just be here for a week, then back to the Temple."
She invited him in but did not offer him a seat. As they stood somewhat awkwardly in the entryway Ben began to feel a chill in the pit of his stomach.
"Is something wrong, Jaliyah?" He inquired.
"Ben," she said, taking a deep breath, "we need to talk. I know it's important to you to become a Jedi and I'm proud of you. Really. But this whole long-distance thing isn't working for me. I think I need...what I'm saying is I think I should find someone else."
"No," Ben whispered, gazing deep into her stormy blue-grey eyes, "what you're saying is that you've already found someone else."
"Is it that obvious?" Her fingers were nervously toying with the turquoise necklace Ben had presented her with as a going away gift. It had cost him an entire month's allowance.
"Give me that."
"Ben, please..." She gasped as he reached out to tear it from her neck, snapping the chain. He dropped it on the floor, grinding it under the sole of his boot until he felt the stone crack.
"I'm so sorry, Ben."
"You're sorry?"
He could feel a dark wave of rage and despair grab hold of his heart, squeezing it in an agonizing grasp.
If he could have Force-choked her he would not have hesitated to do so, but fortunately for Jaliyah this was a skill which Luke Skywalker refused to teach his students.
She took an involuntary step back away from him with trepidation in her wide eyes. But he saw something else in her eyes as well.
"There's something you're not telling me. What is it?" His tone was like ice.
"I...I don't want you to hurt me."
"No, you want to be the one to hurt me, don't you? What is it that you're hiding from me?"
"I...I'm pregnant, Ben."
The shock was like a steel fist punching him directly in the heart, dispelling some of the rage he felt and replacing it with a cold, empty nothingness.
"You're only seventeen," he pointed out raspily. "We...we were going to wait..."
"No, Ben, you wanted to wait," Jaliyah interrupted. There were tears streaming down her cheeks. "I wanted you to be my first. I really did. But you insisted on waiting, then you went off for your Jedi training and I...I just didn't want to be alone. Emmett and I are planning to move in together. We might get married at some point, we're not really sure right now. But we love each oth..."
"Stop talking."
"Ben, I..."
He had already walked away in long, infuriated strides.
Slamming his bedroom door behind him, Ben grabbed his lightsaber from his duffel bag. He envisioned the blue laser rending a deep, angry slash across the white wall.
Yes, do it, a voice that was not his own encouraged from somewhere deep in the very back of his brain. It was a voice he had not heard since he was a young child.
"I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. To. You," Ben gritted out between clenched teeth, throwing his lightsaber down on his messy bed.
He found his parents and Chewbacca all tending the small garden out back.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded of them.
Han straightened up and turned toward him, shielding his eyes from the low sun with one hand. "Ben? I thought you were over at Jaliyah's."
"Why didn't you tell me?!" He yelled again. "I know you knew!"
"What are you talking about, Ben?" Leia queried, concerned.
"Why didn't you tell me that Jaliyah was cheating on me with Emmet? That she's pregnant with his baby?!"
"What?" Leia gasped.
"We didn't know." Han walked over to his son. "Ben, I'm so sorry. We didn't have any idea." He stepped in for a hug but Ben held him at arm's length, staring deep into his eyes.
"No, you didn't, did you," he finally deemed.
"I would have given you a head's up if I'd known."
"I know." Ben turned away from his father and walked over to wrap his arms around Chewbacca's waist, burying his face in the Wookie's thick reddish brown coat while the tears which refused to be held back any longer flowed down his cheeks. Ben hated crying. It made him feel vulnerable. It was far more comfortable to give in to rage. But his Uncle Luke had taught him that down that path lay Darkness, and he did not want to find himself there.
Having locked himself in his bedroom and refused to join his family for dinner, Ben was frantically searching through his closet. He at last found what he was looking for.
His old toy Tauntaun was in sad shape. Its synthetic fur was worn bare in patches from constant hugging, its head hung limply to one side and it was missing one plastic eye. Yet as a childhood favorite, Ben had never quite been able to dispose of old Snowy the Tauntaun, instead relegating it to a forgotten cardboard box on the top shelf of his closet.
He hugged the stuffed toy to his chest as he lay down on his bed, crying himself to sleep.
