Luke had excused Ben from lessons for a few days due to his injury and the fact that the pain pills the medical droid had given him made him drowsy to the point of being incapable of functioning properly.
He lay on his cot with his worn out Tauntaun snuggled up against his side.
His right arm was burning in agony. The medical droid had done a competent job in stitching up the wound. It would leave a permanent scar, but not a glaringly obvious one. Ben didn't even care about that at this point. The issue would be rebuilding the strength in his arm. Dane's lightsaber had sliced through the muscle. And even a day later the pain was excruciating. He had been instructed to take the pain pills every six hours as needed, but he currently had ten minutes to go until this deadline and the pain was already unbearable. A little whine escaped him.
Maybe Snoke had been right all along. Maybe emotions did make one weak, vulnerable and foolish. If Ben had not been conscientious enough to power down his lightsaber to prevent accidentally injuring Dane he may have been able to block Dane's beam, thereby avoiding his own injury. If he had not been weak enough to allow himself to fall in love with Jaliyah he would never have suffered a broken heart. If he had not possessed the sense of chivalry to stand up for Luke's honor against Darriel he would never have been unfairly punished by Luke. Maybe it was time to stop being weak and allowing people to hurt him. Maybe it was time to leave Ben Solo behind, time to let the past die and become Kylo Ren. Giving himself entirely over to the Dark Side wasn't something he wanted to do. The pull toward the Light was equal in strength to the pull toward the Dark Side. But maybe it was what he needed to do to prevent himself from getting hurt by anyone again. He decided not to make that decision now while physical misery clouded his judgement.
"Ben?" Luke's voice came from just outside his tent. "Are you awake? Can I come in?"
"Yeah," Ben replied.
Luke entered the tent with a tray of food in his hands.
"I brought you some lunch. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Ben sat up while Luke set the tray down across his lap and perched on the edge of the cot.
"Can you hand me my pill?" Ben requested, indicating the small round white pill on the little table.
"Is it still that bad?" Luke asked, drawing his eyebrows together in concern.
"Do you know how much it hurts to get hit with a lightsaber?"
Luke gave Ben an exasperated look and held up his right hand.
"Well, yeah, I do."
"I'm sorry," Ben apologized, instantly embarrassed."I know. What am I complaining about? At least I still have all my limbs."
"Now, I didn't say that," Luke stated. "I just meant that yes, I know how much it hurts. Here." He handed the pain pill to Ben.
"Thanks." Ben swallowed it with a sip of juice.
"I just talked to your parents," Luke commented.
"You didn't tell them I got hurt, did you?" Ben inquired, slightly embarrassed.
"Well, I'm obligated to let their parents know if any of my students are injured during training. Leia said she hopes you heal up soon and Han's exact words were 'Tell the kid to be more careful'." Ben couldn't help but laugh at his uncle's extremely accurate impersonation of his father.
Ben suddenly realized that despite his recent disillusionment with Luke's mentoring, he really was fond of his uncle. It was going to be hard to turn away from him and embrace the Dark Side. But he was tired of being stepped on, hurt, betrayed. Snoke would teach him how to be strong.
But he wasn't going to think about that right now. For now he was going to allow himself to be Ben Solo and savor his last few days in the Light.
"Speaking of what happened yesterday," Luke began cautiously, "I wish you'd tell me who taught you how to do that." He didn't want to anger Ben, but he felt that he would be remiss in his capacity as a mentor if he didn't at least try to ask.
Ben took a bite of his toasted cheese sandwich.
"I told you I just figured it out," he stated with a shrug of his shoulders. "You know I'm strong with the Force."
"Ben, if you're struggling with anything you know you can talk to me about it, right?"
"I know," Ben agreed. "And I appreciate that, Uncle Luke. But I'm not struggling with anything. I'll be okay. I know what I have to do."
Luke wasn't sure exactly what Ben meant by this, but he wasn't comforted. Actually, it had sounded a bit ominous.
"Can we talk about something else?" Ben requested, continuing to eat.
After a few seconds of deliberation Luke decided that it was probably better not to push the issue. He reached over to run the fingers of his left hand through Snowy's patchy fur.
"I remember when I gave Snowy to you," he commented.
"For my sixth birthday," Ben recalled.
Luke smiled nostalgically. "You were instantly in love. You didn't even want to open any other presents. I never thought you'd still have it ten years later."
Ben looked slightly embarrassed.
"I'm not judging," Luke assured him quickly. "I'm glad you kept it. When I gave you Snowy I was giving you a little piece of my own past."
"I know." Ben hugged the Tauntaun to his side. "You know what Dad says."
Luke rolled his eyes."Yeah, I know what he says."
"The interior temperature of a Tauntaun is luke-warm."
Luke snorted and rolled his eyes again. "I should have known he'd never let me live that down. Leave it to Han to turn his brother in law's near death experience into a terrible pun."
Ben set the empty tray down on the table beside his cot and laid down again, yawning. His eyes were beginning to feel heavy.
"Pain pill kicking in?" Luke surmised, noting that Ben's dark eyes were a bit distant and glassy. "You're drifting."
"Yeah," Ben mumbled, snuggling Snowy to his chest with another yawn. "I'm a little stoned. Those things knock me out. But they do help with the pain."
"I'll let you go to sleep," Luke said, reaching out to tenderly pat his nephew on the arm before he slipped out of his tent.
