Philophobia ~the fear of falling in love or being in love .
Funny right ! I am scared to be in love . You see as a child I never knew what it felt like to be loved or to be accepted even when you make mistakes .
I was a mistake . My mom and dad didn't want me as I was a result of there one night stand .
Talk about a chemical reaction gone wrong .
Now I leave in Miami with a women who was kind enough to let me live there , and what she gets in return is the joy of making my live a living hell . Talk about giving and giving in abundance .
I am in my final year of high school . The one good thing that happened in my life is I get to go to a good school .
Calaire my owner , she prefers that over mom
She is in the fourth division of the social Pyramid .
According to me there are five divisions to the social pyramid one : people below poverty line , two : people slightly above the poverty line , three : small enterprises and entrepreneurs waiting for there big break ,four : just below the elites who have the access to everything in the world but not powerful or as influential as the elites
Four : elites , have everting they want at what ever time they want .
As she is rich she pretends to care when everyone is there and threatens to kill one no one is around . She is an amazing actress I will give her that .
I always wonder what made her so heartless and cold . I'am guessing love . Why you ask ?cause every night no matter how late she comes home, she spends time talking to a picture of a man how is in his early 30's . I know for a fact that he died cause she keeps hopping he would come back alive to her .
Love , a perfect illusion in the magical world .everything is based on ones perspective.
For example love makes you see your loved ones in a different way , not a bad way but the kinda a way where everything you do is alright .
You can get angry at them but never be mad at them for a long period of time .
Love isn't always a felling that occurs due to chemicals which result in happiness , it is a choice you make to accept , understand and forgive over refusing to believe and holding a grudge
We don't have so many different feelings as we put it . We're either happy or sad .
Well the reasons to our state of happiness or sadness are different ,maybe that's why We think envy , hatred , guilt are different but I think they are different doses of pain .
I was happy with my life cause at least I knew the truth , a bitter truth that has set me free .
I CAN NEVER BE LOVED . I didn't have any
Expectations in any one or maybe life in general . I believed the more I except the more I get hurt . So better stay safe than walk right into pain right .
Coming to my social life, I was a nerd . Unfortunately for me I wasn't the cool kinda nerd . I was the one that hid behind books and looked at or more like searched for the bad in people . Why ? If they are nice and they still don't like me , I will be hurt and if they talked to me and suddenly stopped I would still be hurt so yeah , I know it's lame , but I felt it was easier this way .
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So what do you guys think ? I hope you guys liked it .
