Finding T.A.M

Diary 4

April 22 2007

Standing. Still.
Inside my house
I stood and sat
Repeating those movements
My mind wonders

I sense a tingling
Sign
An illusion
Of my instinct
To be recognize
That house is his
No doubt

Yelling my mind

I look at my wooden ,glass
Table
Work is piling
Papers are tumbling
Pens are disarranged
Trash is scattered

I stopped
Such a mess
I am
For how many days
Will i be infatuated?

By a mere sight,
I tremble.
For a mere presence,
I stop.

Am i frustrated?

I will forget that face
The face of the man
I only met once

Met?
Seen once.

I began my work
I skimmed through papers
Companies that wanted to be
Advertised
People that wanted exposure
I selected people capable of such
A company i only took part to
Pay me cash
Immersing and going deep just
To forget
To pass
To move on

School was about to start
People and teens
I rather forgot
Young adults acting drunk
Men turning to sluts

Thinking i should stop

I look at the clock
Ticking
It sets a time of
Dawn
The sun is kissing the land
The sky is bursting with the color
Of warmth with a slightly
Cold contrast
A dark blue and a dark orange
Appears

The blue gets darker and closing in little by little to conquer the bright orange color

I slowly got up
Slowly pouring tea
To heat my body
To heat my core
I realized

Its been awhile

Since

Its been too long

I walked out of my office
Putting the tea
Behind
Walking toward
My haven
I stood staring
At my bed

I took my night gown
To be bear
I took my panty
To rub my bushy hair
It sent a sexual
Atmosphere
A mature content
To be unravel

Looking at myself
I feel free
I feel
Me

I pinched my nipple playing with my left
And sliding down
Slowly
Zapping an electric
Sensation to my core
I began to lay down

I thirst for this
I hunger for lust
My mind being undone
I did

My frustrations

I held my trembling and wet
Thighs
It leaking
Its sliding
Down

Poking my clits repeatedly
Sliding my fingers
On top of the opening
And to my clits
Reapeating
Until i wet myself

Shocks kept coming from
My body
Its lifting
And unbecoming
Every jolt
Gave me satisfaction
Wanting to continue

I held my breathes and reached
Inside
Putting one
Two
Three
Fingers

I melted
At the same time
I played with my
Clits
Up down and circle
The feeling of coming
Came

And came

And came

My body paralyzed by the after sensation left behind by
My release

The last image
Before my closing eyes
Yield
Him
Holding
Me

~

-Marie

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