Goodbye.

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Hi. Haha, you probably didn't expect me to be here, huh? Unfortunately, if you're reading this, I'm gone. Well I've been gone for a while.

But why did I give up? What could have happened to me that made me think that there was no other way out? I won't lie, I know that there are so many people who have it worse than me. I'm a selfish person.

Jongin, I know that you'll be the first to see this. You'll want this explanation I assume. If not, maybe just throw this away.

I had an epiphany you see. I realized that out of all the pain that was caused to me... was my own fault. I told myself I would be fine but Jongin, I was hurting so much. I loved you so much it hurt and that was my fault. I told myself you weren't real. I told myself all these lies that would make me feel better.

That's why when I saw you in the office, I didn't know who you were. I wanted to erase my pain. I remember: our moms were pretty shitty people, weren't they?  Because of me, my father's in a loveless marriage. Because of me, you ran away from home and...

Because of me, I was to scared to do anything. I'm not scared anymore. I'm Do Kyungsoo, the mother fucker that committed suicide because he loved Kim Jongin a little too hard.

I believe in the fireflies. We'll come back to each other.



It's only a matter of time.


Goodbye, Jongin.
Goodbye, Dad.
Fuck you, Mother.
Goodbye, my entire world.

I love you, Nini. My precious Jongin.
Goodbye.

-Ksoo

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