As you were walking wether going to the mall or just randomly walking in any directions, sometimes you have an eye contact to people and it sucks right?
It feels as if that person knew you from your very existance in that 1 second of staring at you. Weird I felt like he/she judge my every move, for example you were on a train and some random kid just stares at you with blank face on.
Yep that kind of feeling, but as this story goes I will tell you every little bit of feelings that a normal person is feeling right now.
I am just going home from school not minding other people's business passing by a bakery shop, oooooh that egg pie I am lusting over is now gone. And I don't care I can just buy another time or maybe never.
It seems I was off guard when some of my friends flicked me on the nose.
'Good Afternoon Friend! Mind if I join you watching bread and pastries baked and store in glass counters?' Said Friend.
***take note I do not have the luxury naming some of not so important people in this book so peace out***
'Yeah sure why not, the more the merrier right? Hahahaha'
Plastic voice,Plastic Face oooh what's that yup Plastic laugh too. Struggles are real, but who am I to throw her away I consider her my friend but not this day. I am not in the mood to be happy right now. There she goes babbling about her bf and other flirty things they do. Well yeah, I also have my man in my dreams. Shit as I continue to listen to her, I felt it again loneliness. Well for those people who cannot differentiate loneliness and sadness I will give you the meaning. Yes! It's not on google and it's not based on fcking dictionary. It is based on my own observation.
SADNESS - this is the opposite of happy you are either feeling gloomy the soul color is grey so lifeless and also ver very very very not caring to sorroundings cause you just have the energy to do so. Like losing a game, 0 pts on math test, or anything that involves failing.
LONELINESS - abandonment , feeling alone. People once you care will always have that word in your mind when they are gone. Mix of sadness with a lot of alone time. Sometimes you just wanna curl up in your own private space and look at other people with envy for what they have, that you do not possess. You wanna join some band but you could not for you are lonely, no one will never know you have this feeling cause you alone is the one who can feel it. I also wanna define it that if 2 is better than 1 then, people who feel this often refer themselves as soloist,independent guy and also the strongest in a group of friends. It is the scariest thing you don't wanna cope up with, once you have been living with it for 10 years, you will bot entertain other people to your life, you will be happy even without some shits in your life.
Back to the story
Woah a lot of things happen I was invited inside the cafe slash bakery by my friend to have a coffee, I honestly love coffee as much as I love matcha. I did not hesitate as if I have a choice to say no right? I have a 1 hr to spent.
'And then when we were at the top, the view was breathtaking as in the hardwork from hikinh it from the very first place was worth it' said Friend.
'Really? Wow I wish I am as fit as you are. Look at this huge chunk of bajunky , as if you would accidentally recognize me as a pillow.' I said, as we continue chatting I can finally see she was contented and happy of what she have now. Lucky lad, I wish I was as happy.
'Don't say that you are healthy, oh wait look at the time it's almost 6 pm I gotta go, my boyfriend and I have plans tonight' she uttered
'Yeah it's alright get wild you two'
'Hahahahha oh thanks you too , be careful on your way home, bye' as she walked out in front of me and seeing to the glass window I saw how happy she were to meet her boyfriend.
'Bye'
I hate that word that 3 letter word that I wish nobody invented it , I despise the meaning of it as if I just wanna relive that day I wanna forget. I hate hearing it , that when I hear it I wanna rip off my eardrums and give it to the dogs. I hate saying I feel like it has the same meaning of letting go. I HATE IT.
It's hard to pretend just to be attractive to others.
-----so yaaaaaas chapter 2 is on the way stay tuned guys 😀😀😀--------
