It was that time in college, where everyone is busybody, everyone has to be serious and everybody are pursuing their dreams by studying hard to get that perfect project. Me? I was looking at them wants to question what did I do to myself other than being able to put on make up and being able to steam cakes, I am hopeless. All of them were talking about their dreams and I was sitting looking at the sky. More and more questions are popping out of my head, why did God created a useless little retard girl wait I am not little fat I am very fat girl. But hey sometimes I found my happiness when everybody around me are happy. I am thankful that God provided me a wonderful sister, a loving father, supportive aunts and protective uncles. Cousins they have a big role in my life, they are like my daily reminder how pretty the world is with family. But talking honestly I am crumbling, I am slowly deteriorating, I feel like I am such a big pile of trash breathing, no talents or whatsoever. My sister? I talked about how I am right now, she says you can do it be positive. I am trying to survive the arena, I try so hard to be sane, I try so hard not to take my life away. Believe me everyday feels like I wanted to go with my mom. In the year 2017 I lost a cousin, a brother to be exact. I am so not used to say goodbye to my love ones who went to the other side. I always can't say that I love them, but I wanted to show them. I want them to feel proud, I want then to say "Well done". That is all I wanted to hear from them satisfaction, acceptance and love, then maybe I am able to leave with smile on my face. Cause I do not want to feel lonely. I want to be part of something I am good at, for those brave souls who put down their swords ended their battles I salute your bravery, I don't see your flaws I don't know who you are but I know you tried your best, I know you keep on trying to succeed but you put your pen down and continue your story to God.
