Philophobia

s o r r y n o t s o r r y

Jimin sat up, tears and sweat, dripping down his cheeks.

Nightmare. He thought.

-in nightmare Yoongi killed himself.-

Yoongi was Park Jimin's boyfriend. Well- kinda. They called it that, but some days they would hate each other and be at each other's throats, but, other days they would be making out in the boys bathrooms at school.

Yoongi was a grump.

Jimin was a child.

Yoongi always said that he wasn't ready for a real relationship.. ever. He sort of had Philophobia. The fear of falling in love.

Yoongi had been in another relationship before.

He was with Kim Namjoon.
Kim Namjoon is a jerk. He is the school bully, but extremely smart.

The reason Yoongi left him, was because Namjoon would abuse and rape him. He would hit him and cut him. He would have sex with Yoongi without Yoongi's permission. Now, Yoongi will never get into a real relationship again.

Jimin, on the other hand, was with Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook was sweet and kind. He was a loving kid. As far as Jimin was concerned, Jungkook was the happiest person in the school. But one day, Jungkook did something stupid. Jimin never saw the sweet boy again. The last place he saw him was on his bathroom floor.

Jimin is very depressed and has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He has severe anxiety and won't have anything sharp in his house, except for blunt knives. No scissors, no razors, no cutting knives, just butter knives. He doesn't let people over at his house, ever.

Yoongi won't get into a relationship and Jimin's the same. They both have strange lives, but both have strange feelings for each other. They just can't figure it out.

They can't figure out their feelings.

Jimin wants to love Yoongi, but can't.

Yoongi wishes he could love Jimin, but he's just too scared.

Yoongi cried out in pain, cutting his wrist just a little deeper.

Minutes later, he washed the basin up and cleaned his forearm. He wrapped a bandage around his newly cut wrist, and put an oversized hoodie on that Jimin gave him.
He thought about Jimin that night. He thought about loving him. He quickly shook off the thoughts and images and tried to sleep.

He jumped up at the loud ring next to him.

Jimin again. He thought to himself. He picked up the phone and declined the call.

The phone rang again.

Uh! Fuck off Park Jimin!!

He declined it again.

His phone rang again and again. Yoongi wouldn't answer it, not even decline the calls. He wouldn't do anything but put the phone on silent.

Finally, quiet.

The doorbell rang.

"ARGHHH!" Yoongi growled.

He stood up and opened the door.

"Great. What do you want?!" He groaned at Jimin, who was crying his eyes out at his door step.

"Oh! Shit. What's going on?" Yoongi noticed his puffy eyes and his round tears.
He pulled him into his apartment and rubbed his back.

Jimin sobbed.

"Jimin, whats going o-" Yoongi was cut off my Jimin aggressively pulling Yoongi's sleeve up.

He saw the bandaged up cuts. He gasped and slapped Yoongi's tired, soft face.

Yoongi winced put in pain.

"S-sorry..no-not so-rry!" He yelled like a six year old. "Why did you do this you idiot?! I can't believe you! You promised!!"

Three weeks before then, Yoongi swore that he would stop cutting for good. No one EVER broke a promise on Jimin's watch. If so, Jimin NEVER forgives.

"I-" Yoongi was cut off again.

"I don't care if you're 'sorry'! Because you should be! Why..can't you.." He burst out into tears.

Again...