I have broke up with him for the lasts two weeks but I continuously love him day by day. I wonder how he is doing? I just hope God bless and gives him another happiness and love by someone. Who he truly can live on without suffering from me. The day I known I have a tumour in my spine, I contacted my grandparents who are doctors that can help me and heal me as soon as possible. I thought it was fine to get an operation as soon possible but this operation contain a highly risk which can cause me rest of my life disability. And they told me they will come to Korea as soon as possible to remove the tumour along with my sister coming. I cannot be so self-fish for the man I love to take care of me and losing the opportunities of having children, walking hand to hand when old, walking together of the chapel and many more. For his right I have to do this! Eunhyuk please forgive me! P.S I love you ~saranghae~
Day by day I looked really down from missing her. My members like Sungmin, Donghae are in relationship with Elana and Jessica. After knowing we broke up they always text and call asking them what happen? Why doesn't she love him anymore? Is she cheating on him? There were many question asked but the only answer I got was " For your sake she have to break up with you in-order to not suffer from her!" I was confused what that means I asked "Is she sick?" But the question was never been replied. They even have a fight because of that, I felt guilty and told them "Guys its okay, I don't want you guys to break up with the person you love because of me."
Donghae and Sungmin looked at me "But don't you want your answer?"
"Yes, I do but things is just like that, If she wants to break up I will follow what she says!" and my heart has torn into pieces
"EUNHYUK!" They both said at the same time
"I love her but I need to let her go, if she is continuing walking again!"
Leeteuk hyung gave me a warm hug including the rest of members after hearing the decision I made.
Even though it hurts my heart but I will still continuing to love her and start my new life as soon as possible. Lauren I know there is reason why you want to break up with me but I would move as you told me.
Every places I go, I always think about him but along with Smile members supporting me I manage to get through those painful memories. The tumour inside is getting bigger and bigger I am really scared it feels like my death day has closer and closer but I wouldn't think like that because there is always family and friends supporting me I cannot let myself down because of that. Guys I will win this war and get health as soon as possible!
