Im now at the sea wall in the park.
Its like the billion stars in the sky is staring close to me. The cold air is very relaxing, also the sea waves is like a music in my ears.
Do I need to cry again?, whats with me?.
I really dont know why Im always in pain because of that stupid love!. Actually it really hurts.
For now, I want to be alone. I want to claim that the world is mine even just only for tonight. I wish I can just sit here forever. Atleast here, no one can hurt me, no one can reject me and no one will take me for granted. How dare him?!. The tears Im trying to hide begins to fall.
After all those years passed, Im here again, still going back to the place I really dont want to go back.
Well, I dont have any choice. Life is really unpredictable.
I saw how the big dark clouds swallowed the bright stars.
I cant move. Why these things needs to happen again?, Did I do something wrong?. I just want to be loved, like what others desired too. How dare him to take me for granted?, who is he to broke my heart?. Is that his hobby?, hurting and taking everyone for granted?. The rain starts to fall from the dim sky. I didnt manage to move away.
I am really stupid to assume. He didnt love me!. He is there for me because he needs me. Oh let me correct it. Hes there for me because he needs everything I can do for him.
My body is now wet because of the rain.
Now I really feel alone. Is this what I supposed to be?. How can he love me?, he love someone else, someone who is better than me.
He just made me feel that Im difficult to love, that I am not worth loving.
The air becomes more colder than before, but why bother?, its nothing in what I feel right now. I really feel hopeless now. My mind says 'its enough, you can stop now', but my stupid heart keeps on saying 'just go on'. Im suffering now with these unwanted feelings craving to kill me emotionally.
This time, I just close my eyes and let the rain punish me because of my stupidity.
After this night, I swear that I will never, ever love again..
"Take this, I know youre crying, although it cant be seen because of the rain" said a voice in my back. That voice, that voice of him!. Why that voice is still calming and pleasure to me.
I look back and see him standing.
Hes holding a scarf in his right hand.
How crazy life is?. The man Im cursing, the man I really hate, the man that made me feel worthless, the man behind this pain... and the man I really love.
Hes really wet now, even the scarf that he wants to give me is already wet. Hes staring at me with a unreadable emotions in his eyes. His presence is highly unwanted now.
Our eyes met. "Did I hurt you?" suddenly my heart beats abnormally after I heard his question.
The heavy rain is still falling.
"Just leave" the only words came out in my mouth, then I face the sea again, the sea that is not pleasant anymore.
He didnt listen to me. He sit beside me. I look at him, he is staring at nowhere. "You know.." he started with a calm voice. I just face the sea and close my eyes, a sign that I still want to hear the words he want to say.
The rain didnt stop, like its competing between us.
"Believe me or not, I really care for you" he voiced out. "Liar" I whispered, but I know he heard it.
He just smile.
That smile that made my eveyday complete, that smile that made me fall in love to him a hundred times everytime I saw it.
"I finally got the answer, how dare me?, so Im the reason behind your pain now." he said while staring at the sky. The rains continue falling.
"Im very stupid to hurt a person like you"
That words of him is really confusing. What is his purpose?, did he want to hurt me again?, now?, face to face?. Do this pain I have is not enough for him to just leave me?.
"I care for you. Honestly, my day is incomplete whenever youre not talking to me, mostly when your presence is not around.."
I just sit quietly, waiting for his next words.
"You are worth loving, the person you love is very lucky to have you"
I dont know whats happening?, did he came here to answer the questions I asked to myself lately?.
"Im stupid to not realize that you are important, I know Im late, Im late to realized that I need you.."
Damn that words!, I want to punch and break his face for that words he have said. He just need me!, Im really stupid to assume again, Im very stupid.
"I need you, not only because youre always there for me, not only because you always helped me a lot.. but also because..." he paused then look at me, our eyes met. "I need you, because I cant live without you.. I need you, simply because I love you"
That words of him, did I heard it right?. Is this a dream?, well if this is, I dont want to wake up anymore. I just want to stay here forever, together with his presence. "Im sorry Im late. I want you to leave me now and run away."
That words confuse me again.
My sister is calling, so I manage to answer it first.
"Go away now!, there is a bomb threat in your location!," she said really tensed "Jason.." I voiced out "Hes dead!, he died because he is in rush to get you, he was hitted by a truck because of the heavy rain. He wants to warn you, go way now!!" that words strike my mind.
What??, did I heard it clear?.
I turn my face to where hes sitting, hes gone, hes not anywhere.
My phone slip in my hand. I just stared blankly at where hes sitting. My mind is still in process of analyzing everything. Hes gone??, Hes dead??, a bomb threat??.
WhenI finally got in realization, a loud bomb explosion fills the last seconds inmy life. Made me realized, not all love stories end in happily ever after.
