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Summer's POV

"I want to forgive him I really do Autumn, but it's not the first time he's done this!" I said on the phone quietly. "Okay I get that I know you're upset but he said he didn't do it so how come you don't believe him?" Autumn asked getting annoyed. "How do you trust someone who's already cheated on you?!" I said getting tears in my eyes.

"Umm Hayes Grier not ring a damn bell?!" Autumn snapped and I sighed. "Autumn... he played you just like he played Katie! This is different, Ethan and I actually love each other and don't just use each other!" I snapped backed, then it got quiet. "I'm sorry..." I sighed. "It's fine, but see that's the thing Ethan loves you, Hayes didn't love me." Autumn said.

I got quiet not knowing what to do anymore. "Okay, listen Summer. Technically he didn't cheat on you he cheated on Meredith with YOU, I mean yeah he said he broke up with her and you believed him then he actually went to Meredith instead so that probably lost a lot of your trust in him. But Sum he married YOU and had three children with YOU not Meredith! He chose you after everything so put a little trust in him... don't let your kids grow up without a father, we know how much it sucks growing up without a parent, don't do that to your kids ." Autumn said.

I'm already crying by now because she's right. I took a deep breathe and finally talked back. "I just don't want to get hurt again... it's already hard enough knowing he could be saying the truth but he keeps saying he's screwed up... so what if... what if it's true Autumn!" I cried into the phone, Autumn sighed. "I don't know Summer just talk to him!" Autumn said. Before I could reply I heard Carter crying. "I have to go Carter is crying..." Autumn sighed. "Okay bye." Then we both hung up.

I walked to Carter's room and saw him sitting on the floor crying holding something but I couldn't see it. "Hey buddy, what's wrong?" I sniffed. "Mommy!!' Carter cried and ran into my arms I picked him and put him back I the bed and sat on the bed with him. I noticed he was holding his favorite stuffed animal bear Ethan got him. "What's wrong with my boy?" I asked rubbing his forehead with my thumb. "I miss dad! Where's dad?" Carter yelled.

I took a deep breathe before my emotions go too heavy. "He's visiting uncle Gray right now... and you need to be a little quieter your brother and sister are sleeping.." I said. "I... I don't care! Mommy I want dad when is he coming home!?" Carter cried even louder and I started getting tears. I grabbed him and held him. "I don't know baby..." I sniffed hugging him tighter and he started screaming and crying which broke my heart.

A lot of sobs were broken with me and Carter but I finally got him to go to sleep. I always knew he's been a daddies boy but I can't keep seeing him like this waking up at 2:00 in the morning crying asking for him. Every time I drive him to school he's starts crying saying he's not going until he sees Ethan and that breaks my heart. Whatever we do Ethan always pops up in the conversation. I miss Ethan a lot but when I need to talk to him but I don't want my kids here when we do.

I've been loosing sleep, I go to bed at 1:30 A.M then have to get up at 2:00 till Carter goes back to sleep then it's around 3:00 but then I can't fall asleep till almost four in the morning then I have to get up at six. So I'm constantly tired, I'm not eating as much as I use too, I can't eat because then I feel like I'm going to get sick, I get migraines almost everyday, stressed about getting all three of the kids ready making breakfast and dinner, to make sure Carter gets to school on time and the twins get to daycare before my work, it's stressful getting ready for work, I get missed calls everyday from everyone making sure I'm okay or just to get a lecture, people constantly yelling at me, I'm falling behind everything!

I really need to talk to Ethan... soon.

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