Nothing More, Nothing Less

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Every morning is the same. 

Get up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, pack my things, go to school.

Nothing more, nothing less. 

Mornings at school don't differ from the monotonous pattern of my mornings at home either.

I'll either get to my high school barely on time or with some time to spare. Never late. 

Talk with friends, go to my locker, stand around with my books in hand until it's time to go to my first class. Not always in that order, but all three happen at some point. Everyday. 

Nothing more, nothing less.

So that's exactly what I expect as my bus drops me off at the school's front parking lot.

Desperate to get away from my loud classmates, I open the door and walk to the main entrance as fast as possible, leaving them behind. 

The air is harsh, attacking me from all angles. The clothes I picked out this morning aren't doing much to defend against it. Rushing inside the doors to be met with the sweet but sudden change from the cold air outside to heated air inside. A nice change though, one I'm used too.

As I walk into the building, I notice that it's near empty. I clear sign that I am once again, barely on time. I sigh and make my way down to the hallway, and then to my locker.

Passing by other freshmen, some are familiar, some unknown, I make it to my locker. I drop my backpack to the ground next to me it and open it. I take out my books for the first few classes and close it. 

I stand up, ready to go visit my best friends at their lockers. Imagining what today's morning struggle is for them.

Before I'm even able to take a step, I'm suddenly crashing into my wall of lockers. My head and left shoulder take the brunt of the hit. I wince at the throbbing pain in the head and try to regain my balance. 

I look around in shock, to see who shoved me and find three upperclassmen who I haven't seen before laughing and smirking at me with disdain. 

The one closest to me, who I'm assuming pushed me speaks first, "Oh sorry, didn't see you there. I thought fairies had better balance than that." Gaining a laugh from his two other friends.

By now other freshmen have stopped to watch, but I don't notice them. I stare in disbelief at what the upperclassman is saying. At what he called me.

Fairy

He speaks again, "What's wrong? Aren't queers supposed to be loudmouths that don't shut up?"

Again, his two friends laugh. I can't hear them though. I can't function at all.

Queer. He called me a Queer.

I can feel myself getting red from embarrassment. But I do nothing, I'm paralyzed. Rooted to the ground.

I try to speak, but all that comes out are half-formed words and stutters. 

He laughs spitefully and says, "Your little secret is out. Now the entire school knows you're a worthless fag."

Everything goes numb. I see them laughing but I can't hear them. As they walk away, the third one shoves me against the lockers again. But I don't feel the pain. I can sense people staring at me, but don't acknowledge them.

Now the entire school knows you're a worthless fag.

I suddenly become aware of myself. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't hear, I can't function.

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