You think I'm not trying?
You think I am not putting myself through things?
You think I have it easy?
My mother is dead.
I talked to my dad through a door for two years.
I hated myself for so long.
I put up with people treating me like shit.
I dealt with people pushing me around like I was their play thing.
I was cheated on.
I was treated like I meant nothing to them.
I was nothing more than a fuck buddy with a different title.
I've watched my family suffer.
My grandpa is dead.
My grandma had dementia.
I've had a stalker.
To name a few.
I am trying to count on people.
But it's damn hard when everyone around you fails you.
And sometimes it isn't their fault.
Sometimes they don't notice what they are doing.
But that doesn't make it hurt less.
I will try my damndest to trust you.
But I will probably never fully trust you.
Not for a long ass time.
And for some reason
No one can handle that.
No one will help me with my issues.
Because no one can understand.
Understand how hard it is for me to trust.
Good luck dealing with me.
Because sometimes I can't even deal with myself.
