La Ville Des Etoiles (boyxboy)

Chapter 4: Solutions

^Jacob's Well in Texas. It's the reference for the water hole mentioned in this part.

^The video is the beautiful song sung by Arlissa, that is, "Hearts Ain't Gonna Lie". I hope you enjoy it while reading this part!

-Elisedd's POV-

He laid in peaceful slumber as noontime passed and another day wasted away.

My hand absentmindedly ran over his furry chest as I held the other over the top of my eyes, covering them from the rest of the world as they shed liquid despair, after Elizabeth had relayed to me the overheard arguments of Grim and one of his superiors. So that was their plan. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have missed it? It was so obvious now. The short deadline. Will's fear of moving on. And of course, the punishment. Those clever bastards. They had trapped me in my own heart, cornering me to the only path that led the way out. The road to infinite oblivion.

The realization had put me into a trance. A trance that protected me from insanity. I didn't know the things that I did during the times when I felt like I was there but I wasn't. And it would only be after the time that my body found its needed release that I would realize what I had done.

I dropped the knife in the horror of a habit's outcome. The imagery of the perfection that I left last night vaporized, dropping me back to the present. Fresh blood was drawn from several long and thin wounds that crisscrossed my arm from the words that cut into my heart.

The hurt from trickery and betrayal was familiar to me. But, only feeling desolation and sadness for the past years, it felt like the very first time. It was painful. And it was surprising. Usually, the two didn't mix very well in my mind, so it ached to find a source for all the pain that I was getting. Pain that it actually wanted to feel and not those sudden throes of gut-twisting agony that threatened to push me over the cliff towards the fall of madness.

Perhaps I should find someone to blame. Maybe I should blame Will. But I couldn't bring myself to. It wasn't his fault, after all. It wasn't his fault that I fell for him in the City of Love. It wasn't his fault that the past sixty-seven years I spent was wasted on yearning for a chance, thinking about the pointless futures that we could share together. And now, here I am. In the same house as him, trapped in a cage set by my own foolishness.

I picked up the knife and buried it one last time in my left arm, basking in the misery that lasted for a short moment of eternity. Opening the tap, I held my breath and winced at the sting that the water brought, momentarily erasing all the thoughts in my mind, as the clear water turned red and mixed with a dead man's blood. It was fascinating how a simple feeling could empty your mind. I wondered if kissing him would feel more like this. A little less painful. A little happier. And just...perfect. But I knew it was never going to happen. My lips will remain parched and my heart will continue to be the subject of deprivation to my final breath.

It was an unusual case of La Douleur Exquise. Wanting someone that you can never hope to have. The heartache of an admirer's unrequited love, multiplied several times by knowing that your ultimate demise was set into motion by your feelings. The phrase was a perfect label for the emotions running wild in my head. But no word could describe all the spectrums of hurt, anger, and sorrow that was making my heart screech as it broke over and over again. How did I acquire this pointless desideratum? I want to throw it away. Forget everything and go back to where I was before, silently wandering, without any hope or feeling. But I can't. It doesn't leave. It just keeps bugging you. Pestering and insulting, as if it was all an amusing tragedy to the playwrights who wrote the story of my life.

Well, it wasn't. I was lowered to the likes of an insignificant twig. Stepped on. Snapped into two. Broken. Of course, they weren't satisfied with the punishment of two thousand years. As long as I was conscious of what was I doing, I was considered as a threat to them. Even when they took my life from me. What sick minds! Exactly why I picked you, Elizabeth had said. Bullshit! The Council had known how it would go all along. That I was too broken to even start to help myself. They couldn't resist the chance to make me more miserable.