Would you die for more love?

Chicks before dicks

After that day, I went to school but I had a lot of bruises. Thankfully it was winter so nobody noticed that I had long sleeves and high boots on. I was also lucky that I didn't have P.E. but of course, there was Jacob, just one look at me and he could see that something was wrong with me. He didn't know what and I wasn't going to tell him, but thanks to my sister he already knew half of the story. That part where dad found out about my grades but 'it was all okay'. He didn't say to me that she said that I was dumb and ugly, but he had his own thought.

Lately, I needed him so badly, so at school, I abandoned my friends and he his. We were together very often, but after a while, my friends didn't talk to me anymore and I realised what I had done.

I lost my friends, who supported me so much. I forgot the code: Chicks before dicks. They weren't angry at me, just disappointed, and I think that made it worse. I decided to go back to my friends and talk less with Jacob, but first I had a conversation with Jacob:

"Jacob, hun, you there?"
"I am always here for you babe"
"I have a prob"
"You can tell me"
"I realized that I am less with my friends and I think they are hating me"
"Nobody can hate you, ever"
"But"
"No it is the truth, why are you even thinking that?"
"Haven't you realized that when we are together they always roll their eyes?"
"No, you are the only one I am looking at"

That was pretty sweet of him, but I didn't think he got it.

"Hun, I think I need to spend some time with them"
"But babe..."
"No this is my choice, it isn't over between us, but I also need my friends"
"Okay I can understand that"
"I love you"
"I love you more"

This was kind of our first 'fight' but it wasn't really a fight. I started to see my friends a little more because I missed them and I also needed them. Maybe less than I needed Jacob, but still.

The next few months passed really fast, I saw my friends more and more and Jacob less and less. I missed my mom a lot and maybe my dad hit me because I look like her, I look like her a lot. When I look at myself in the mirror, I see her. I see her smile and I can even hear her. I have her voice, I have her smile, I have her body, I have her face, I have everything of her. My dad missed her just as much as I do. I started crying like a baby, I still feel that whole in my stomach she left. I think my soul became as dark as the basement. I needed everyone, but most of all, I needed mom. I need her smile, her lovely words, she was my everything.

It was my birthday today, I became 18 years today. Today was the day mom died. Exactly one year ago was the saddest moment of my life and I will never forget that feeling when she said her last words.
I thought about it when I woke up and I would think about it when I would fall asleep. I tried to avoid my father because I thought that he would be angry with me, just because it is my birthday. I was cursed forever.

That day wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was now an adult now and my friends and I celebrated that. We took three buses to get to the other town and to the biggest mall of the country. I've never visited this mall, but I liked it in here. It was a wonderful day with my friends, but Paige didn't like it that I had some fun in my horrible life. She told my dad that I hurt her and that I took her friends away.

They were my friends, she didn't even like them. Actually, she hated them from the beginning, from the day they talked to me, until now. I never shared any secrets from my friends with her, but in one way or another, she knew a lot of secrets. My friends became furious. But I never told her anything, I just wanted to tell mom. Mom.... She must have heard me when I was talking to mom in heaven. This wasn't fair, she should never have listened to me. I understated that my friends didn't like me anymore and they left me in that big town. They left me all by myself.

I didn't want to get home because I knew my father was waiting for me. Waiting to hit me. Waiting to hurt me. When my friends had left, they left a whole (but a smaller one than my mom had left), so I texted Jacob:

"Jacob, hun, I am sorry of earlier"

He looked at the message but he didn't answer so I explained myself

"I know I may have hurt you, but I didn't mean to. I still love you. Now more than ever. I have missed you today, but still, it was a wonderful day until my friends left me"
"Your friends... left you?"
"Yes they did"
"And are you alright?"
"Physically?"
"Yes"
"Then yes, I am not home but I took the train to Oxford to visit a friend"
"A friend?"
"Yes"
"Is he special to you?"

I laughed. This was one of the first times I laughed. I laughed at him because he still didn't realize he meant the world to me. So I teased him a little bit:

"Yes he is"
"O I see, maybe I need to let you have your time with him"
"Mm maybe, because he is pretty cute tho"
"Okay, I understand!
My dad called me, I need to go!"
"Haha"
"What is so funny?"
"It is funny that you still don't realize I love you, more than myself! I would never even look the same to another boy as I look at you! I don't need somebody else's love, I just need you!"
"Babe, are you serious?!"
"Of course I am hun"
"I love you too"
"I love you more ♥"
"I have missed you, babe"
"I've missed you too hun"

My life turned a little 'better' because of him. But he never knew I really didn't sleep at home that day and I did sleep in the house of that cute guy 😉, maybe the curse wasn't so bad as I thought it was.