Left to Wander • • Daryl Dixon

Chapter Fifteen

The next morning, a service was held for poor Dale, we all were utterly silent as Rick spoke. I hung my head as I felt a small hole forming in my heart. Dale was one of those people who just made a difference in your life and him being gone just felt wrong. The service was long but a group left to go secure the border of the farm. Daryl, Shane, Andrea and T-Dog left to go kill walkers and secure the border. Once they came back the plan was made for living.

We all were moving into the home and we were going to have to share rooms with one another. People were given shifts to watch and I waited for mine, none of the women were given shifts just yet except for Andrea who argued for one. I helped carry items to the house and yawned as I sat on the porch, relaxing as my sights rested on the fields. I finished helping everyone get belongings, food, blankets, and other essentials into the house and sleeping arrangements were made. Daryl, Carol and I were all to share a bedroom as I put all the things in the spare. I sighed as I finished helping put away items. I couldn't help but look at Daryl with a light blush still not over the arguments and the kiss we shared just a day before. I shook my head slightly before walking out to were Daryl and Rick talked about the little expedition they were going to take. As soon as I came out and Shane started walking up as well Daryl put down the map walking past me.

"Im goin to take a piss." He grumbled and I rolled my eyes as I stood beside Rick. Shane walked up to us both and shot me a glare. I was a little thrown off but walked into the little house, not wanting to deal with his shitty attitude. I sighed softly as I noticed, beds being made on the floor for everyone and I stretched slightly walking to the bedroom we were going to occupy. I felt myself run into a hard rock of a body and looked up to see Daryl's rough and scruff covered face staring down at me.

"Excuse me." I grumbled softly and stepped back slightly, separating the two of us to leave a small awkward silence between us. I looked at my feet, avoiding his gaze. "We um.. We're going to be sharing a room with Carol just so ya know." I mentioned softly as scratched the back of my head before he continued past me, leaving the house to finish business with the prisoner Randal. Everyone was given the small task of boarding up windows at the house to give us protection and to keep us safe if walkers so happen to pass by. I sighed softly and Lori noticed me by myself on the other side of the house. I glanced up at her and quickly looked back at the window, continuing to hammer nails.

"You okay?" She asked simply and I stopped for a moment but continued working not wanting to talk.

"Peachy keen." I mumbled as I continued to work. I noticed her step closer to lean against the home looking out to where Carl and Rick had gone off to talk about whatever it was. I sighed as I knew she wasn't planning on leaving yet. "Anything else I can help you with Lori?" I asked and stared at her with a rather unamused look. She shrugged her shoulders slightly and looked out at the fields.

"Just checking in. I see you and Daryl started getting close." She started and I glared at her frustrated.

"Sure let's talk about that! Cause why would we talk about the fact that Dale died? Or the fact that you're pregnant? No! Lets talk about how Daryl and I are." I snapped harshly and I started to walk away. I stopped midstep and looked over my shoulder slightly. "Sometimes you should just keep your nose out of other people's problems and solve your own for once." I mumbled coldly and went inside, entering the room I'd be staying in, I went through my bag looking for my alcohol that I had brought back but heard T-Dog yelling for Rick and Daryl. I came out confused to hear word that Randal escaped from the handcuffs and the barn. I looked around for Shane only to find he was gone and I looked at Daryl who was investigating to see how this could have happened.

Shane appeared from the woods announcing Randal had his gun and escaped. Daryl, Glenn, Shane, and Rick were all going to go out to find him as I walked up to Daryl.

"Be careful, please. For me at least." I asked softly and I slipped a rose petal into his hand, it was from the Cherokee rose he had given me and he looked a little surprised with a raised brow. Rick started to walk off and I nudged him to go. I started to make my way to the house as instructed like the rest of the group and we all got ready to sleep. I stood, peeking through the boards nervous for him. He was the smartest as goes for staying safe between the four but anything could happen. I made my way to our room and found the satchel with all the alcohol. I started with the bottle of vodka. The label has since rubbed off and I took a long drink of the liquid that burned my throat and warmed my intestines. I drank and started to see the world shake and blur. I continued through half of the bottle before my stomach had finally had enough of the warm liquid that finally traveled back up, burning my throat more than before and I felt the contents of my stomach empty into the trashcan beside the bed. My head laid on the pillow as my hand held the bottle letting my body drift into a deep slumber.

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I'm sitting in a room... A tank lined the wall it was filled with beautiful salt water fish. I remember this room... But I don't? Why does it seem so familiar? Was this a friends home? No. There was a large leather seat and I laid on a therapist lounge chair. I looked around the bland room and a desk was also there. What was going on? What was happening?

"You're so beautiful."

"Your skin is so soft."

"Why are you leaving? This is your safe place."

These words, sentences echoed in my head and I noticed a black silhouette standing over me, coming near to touch my arms, breasts, legs, any part of my body really. I wanted to scream, but it felt like my voice had been ripped out. I knew where I was now, my old therapist... He was there when my brother died, when my dad would hit me... He was just the icing on the cake. He had locked his door saying it was a coping technique. He had cut my lower back and other parts of my back, leaving scars for memories.

"Now now, little girl all we'll do is just make that pain go away."

His calm and lewd voice had purred in my ear as he continued the torment. It just went down to him unbuckling his belt and...

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