The Meaning Of My Life

Chapter 2

He's here...

But that's impossible, he dies a few years ago due to a car accident. (Everyone was talking about it). He should be in his grave by now, or probably decomposed into ashes. How can he be at two places at once? 

Looks like I've been watching a lot of science fiction movies lately.

Don't get me wrong, its not like I wanted him dead, I just couldn't comprehend all this.

Coming to think about It I do miss him, and whenever I remember him I have this mixture of guilt, heartbreak, and emptiness in me. I regret breaking his promises. I regret not spending more time with him when I had the chance. I regret cutting my relations and distancing myself away from him.

Regret.

 A terrible feeling that cuts you deep down and makes you feel like a complete failure.

Only if I get a second chance I can fix all this, and never leave his side, promise. This time it was a promise to myself. 

But who am I kidding? I'm never going to get a second chance, because the man is freaking DEAD!

Sometimes knowing the truth is easier then accepting it. I know that he's dead, but my heart is never going to accept it.

I stepped closer to my patient, examining his features; his hazel eyes, his brown hair that by age turned white..

Please tell me I'm dreaming. I must be. Because all this is irrational. 

His eyes widened as he saw me gazing at him. He probably thinks I'm mad. Great! A mad therapist!

"Russel? " I couldn't keep this question inside me any longer.

"Sorry?"

Oh, Its not him. Of course its not him, what was I thinking!

A short silence cut the room before he finally said: "No, I'm Robert. Robert Wurttz. " He paused before he finally said "Russel would be my brother." he then looked at the floor tiles underneath him.

Russel had a b-..brother?!

My heart took  a short road trip in a roller coaster of emotions on hearing this sentence. I wasn't able to control it.

It was as if Flashbacks of our great moments together are being shot at me. 

*A few years ago.*

"Aren't you scared?"

I said, through the loud music that filled his house.

"Scared of what, Jaden?"

He looked confused. Like: what the hell is this young man saying? Why would i be scared when all my loved ones are around me, sharing their happiness with me, and being by my side all the time, and especially today, on my birthday.

"I don't know, Russel. From loosing all this. From leaving us behind... From DYING"

He stopped dancing when he heard this last word. Yup, he was a great dancer.