Las Vegas, Nevada, Five Years Ago
Beyoncé stood outside the house she almost didn't recognize. The memories came back as if from far away land and Beyoncé took a deep breath and walked forward. She hesitated, looked down at the locks. They were different and Beyoncé was worried that maybe her parents had moved. She closed her eyes and steadied her heartbeat. She rang the door bell, still that familiar, out of tune ring that she knew from a year ago. There were footsteps on the stairs and the door opened. Her mother took one look at Beyoncé and froze, her face deathly pale.
"Hi Mom." Beyoncé whispered. Her mother's lip trembled but she made no move to let the girl in. Beyoncé forced a smile. "I'm home."
"Who is it?" Her father's authoritative voice said. She saw the shadow in the hallway and then her father's unshaven fave came into view. His expression mirrored that of his wife's but soon hardened.
"Hi, Daddy." She said.
"I don't know who you're talking about." Her father replied. "Close the door." Her mother looked back at him, pleading with her eyes to let their daughter in. "Close the door damnit!" And with his strong arms, he forced the door closed with a bang. Beyoncé clenched her fists and closed her eyes tightly to force the tears back. She wasn't going to cry, no, she had expected this really. She went back into the car and rested her head against the wheel. She felt sick and unwanted and she couldn't stay parked in the driveway. She started the car and just drove, not entirely sure where she was going. She shut down her brain and let her body do the directing.
Of course her body would bring her to the one place that made her feel safe no matter what happened. As she pulled into Kelly's driveway, she wasn't sure if Kelly's parents were home, or if they wanted to see her. Maybe they blamed her for what happened. But Beyoncé had no where to go so she got out of the car and knocked on the door. She half expected no one to answer, it was twelve at night after all but footsteps echoed in the hallway and the door opened. Kelly's mother stood there, staring in surprise.
"My parents kicked me out." Beyoncé said, her voice shaking. "I don't know what to do." Kelly's mother stared at her for a moment before enveloping her in an embrace so tight that Beyoncé had a bit of trouble breathing. But soon she was sobbing into the other woman's arms and rocking back and forth.
It seemed Kelly's death had drained her house after she died. Beyoncé hadn't visited since the incident but she distinctly remembered that the walls were brighter, the lights stronger and the general atmosphere cheerier. Even her parents, whom Beyoncé remembered as being two of the happiest people she'd ever met (Kelly had to get it from somewhere) seemed to be passing through life. Their hair seemed grayer, their skin paler and they didn't smile as much. This, Beyoncé realized, was why she had avoided coming home for so long. She hated seeing Houston without Kelly because it was as if all the color was sucked from the town.
"Where have you been? The kids at school have been worried sick about you." Kelly's mother asked.
"Around....mostly trying to move on." Beyoncé replied. She could tell by the looks on their face that they were also trying to move on with their lives. They didn't ask why she was kicked out or how she was doing, they could see that she looked just like them.
"You can stay with us." Kelly's father said, sloshing his drink around in his cup. He looked unshaven and unkempt. Beyoncé nodded.
"Only for a few days, then I'll be out of your hair." Kelly's mother took her hand, the one with the ring on it.
"Nonsense." She said, shocked that Beyoncé would ever think of herself as a nuisance to them. "You're family."
Beyoncé stayed in Kelly's room. She found it almost impossible to set foot inside because she could still see the images in her head of the two of them relaxing, kissing and gazing into each other's eyes, unaware of the tragedy to befall them in the future. She swallowed hard and tried to shut out those memories. She thought she was ready but being in Kelly's room again, seeing everything like it hadn't changed, like Kelly was going to be coming home any moment, it all brought back a wave of hurt Beyoncé hadn't been ready for. She knew in that instant that she hadn't been ready, that no matter how long she stayed on a farm or stayed away from Houston, she'd never be ready to accept that Kelly was gone forever.
