Ghost of my ex

Voices in my head

"Thanks for watching the fiancé tag! As always, try and have the best day, love Madi!" I said the ending to my YouTube video. "I love you Madi" Brent said kissing the back of my ear. "Brent let's go furniture shopping, our new house won't furnish itself." Brent grabbed his keys and met me in the car. Hooking up his phone we listened to our favorite duo, The Chainsmokers. "He really doesn't love you, he's using you." "Open your eyes and look at him, no way that perfect of a man could ever love a fat ugly fuck." Brent grabbed my thigh as if he heard my mind also. A few hours pass as we pick out a white couch along with some white and black wall pieces. I remember being in middle school and wanting a dark themed house, and couldn't help but think that two years ago I would have never imagined living like this. I never would if thought my hair would be blonde, I'd be engaged to Brent Rivera, and would like listening to mainstream artists. I used to imagine of being a rich judge married to Josh Dun with my hair as bright as my career, but I love the life I have right? I heldthe door for Brent as he carried s the wall decorations inside. I started designing by the stairs when I felt Brent wrap his arms around me. "You're so good at that." "Thanks babe, but we're going to need black and grey pillows for both our bed and couch, so it all goes together." "I'll look online." Brent left making my waist cold.  A while later we were sitting in the kitchen looking on our social medias. "Brent look at all these comments shipping us and saying "couple goals"" Brent just shrugged. "See I told you he doesn't fucking care." My mind continued talking shit about how our love isn't real, and how I wasn't being myself. The rest of the night the voices in my head wouldn't stop. "I think I want to dye my hair again." "Why would you do that your hair is beautiful blond. I'll no longer like you if you do that." "Brent what did you just say?" "I said, your hair will be beautiful no matter what." I Shot Hayley a text seeing if I could swing by Good Dye Young and grab a box of blue dye tomorrow. A few minutes later I got a response saying that it would be fine. Brent was on his phone all day and seemed a little strange. I went upstairs and took a bath. "Brent will you come here?" I couldn't get my mask opened. Brent walked in and looked disgusted. I knew I was fat and that my body has never been eye flattering but Brent usually avoids eye contact with my body. Brent opened the package and left without saying anything. "God damn Madi your body isn't even good enough for your fiancé. Soon after my bath I shut off all the lights and when to bed in preparation for the New Year's Eve party tomorrow night with Brent.