instagram// alexander hamilton

8 - c r u s h

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(Hoi! Expect updates at least five days apart since there will be full chapters from time to time. Thanks to everyone who's reading. I honestly thought no one would read this book so I'm pretty shocked. Expect some character development.)

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This can not be right.

On no level was this okay.

There was no way John Laurens should be feeling the way he is while talking to this Instagram 'Sugar Daddy'.

At first he thought he was dying. With the rushing of blood in his veins and the constant banging in his chest every time he thought about the boy. It made him scared. He was so scared he had to call his friend who was in another country and ask about the feeling. He felt his head spinning, he felt light on his feet, he could feel his face heating up after reading the messages.

He surely thought he was dying.

He couldn't get over that feeling. The feeling of uncertainty of the whole thing. How could he feel such emotions towards someone he hadn't even met? It was like falling off of a mountain but in a good way. (If there was a good way to fall off of a mountain. Perhaps a lover is at the bottom prepared to catch him?)

So after John had hurriedly dialed his friend's number in utter fear for his life while clutching his aching chest, it was no wonder he was hurting so bad.

"A crush." Simply explained his ingenious long distance French friend.

"Pardon?"

"I said," Lafayette sucked in a heavy breath before beginning again. "If you're feeling this way towards someone, it's most likely a crush." John drew his phone away from his ear and stared at his glowing laptop screen with a page opened up to the Google search engine. He scanned the definition of the word he had searched up a few minutes earlier and frowned at them.

Crush
/kresh/
noun
a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.

It was confusing. How did he 'supposedly' fall for a random guy? There's got to be more to this equation than just the variables. He knew very little about Alexander and even if he wanted to date him he'd most likely have no chance. Not only that but Alex has bad manners and can be truly dirty and disrespectful at sometimes.

unattainable or inappropriate.

Both were like synonyms to the word Alexander. And it threw John off the boat when he was told this 'dying-like feeling' could actually mean that he is developing fondness for the immigrant. He was shaken up about it, so shaken up that he forgot he was in a phone call.

"John?"

He lifted the phone to his ear and immediately spoke. "Ah, sorry. I was daydreaming."

"You said the person you have a crush on isn't your ideal type? What do you mean?"

What do I mean? John thought as the gears in his head began turning. Alexander is nothing like what he expects and wants in a guy. Yet for some reason, his heart rate speeds up with just the thought of him. There had to be something he adored about him. Though he didn't know what.

"I mean....well he's not respectful."

"Okay," Lafayette had urged him on. Boy was it fun to play match maker sometimes. "Elaborate on that."

"He's very ill minded, he seems aggressive, he has the personality kinda like a gang member? And uh, is very rude sometimes." He held his phone closely while he chewed his lip. Even though he tried his best to make his Sugar daddy sound at least a bit okay, he failed miserably.

The frenchman on the other end paused for a second before speaking again. "So is this dude a thug? Are you into thugs now?"

"N-no... I'm not into him. I don't even like him and he's not a thug." John never cursed his stuttering so much in his life.

"You sound unsure, Mon ami. It seems you are interested in bad boys."

"Bad boys? I can never imagine myself with one."

"This article I'm reading says that woman are more likely to be attracted to bad boys rather than nice guys because of their 'narcissistic traits' which, fun fact, actually helps them get laid more." Lafayette let out a light laugh and John pulled his blanket over his head. He began to feel embarrassed, despite being in a room by himself he felt like thousands of people were watching him.

"The hallmarks of narcissism include dominance, a sense of entitlement, and a grandiose self-view, which basically means they are all over confident jack-asses. Oh! It says here that some people like them because their most chosen for one night flings. That's interesting." John felt like he was torturing his sense by listening to the Marquis' horrible commentary.

"Psychology Today says that studies overwhelmingly show that narcissism is greater in men, even across cultures. Essentially, this means there may be more bad guys in the world then there are nice guys, which makes it easier to accidentally fall in love with one at some point. Hm.."

"What does this have to do with me again?" John had somehow controlled the heat in his face an managed to actually form a sentence.

"Because, my child," John scoffed, "You are under the influence of a womanly desire to want a bad boy. Someone who can, most specifically, dominate you. And honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to be careful, you have to know what you are dealing with before you jump in head first."

Lafayette knew majoring in phycology would be worth the painful class hours.

John just frowned at the new information he was given. He still couldn't believe it. How? There's no way! His preferences were that his mate had to be Daveed Diggs or equivalent to that.

"There's no way I'm attracted to bad guys."

"You said the same thing when you were 'oh so sure' that you were straight." That shut John up.

"Anyway, I have to go. Hercules is being a stick up my ass so I'll catch you later, yeah?"

John tiredly rubbed his eyes and yawned. (I yawned while typing 😂)
"Yeah...uh, talk to you tomorrow?"

"Aw, I don't know. I have five classes tomorrow and all I'll want to do after that is sleep. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Uh, bye."

And just like that, John returned back to the loneliness of his apartment room.

(Hey yo gurl actually researched that shit. 😄)