last chance • namjin

last chance

The last thing I remembered were his eyes.

Those beautiful, brown eyes in which I have grown to love over the years that we've been together, which would shine every time he laughs or would crinkle whenever I squeeze his button nose.

Those beautiful, brown eyes which now hold tears that threaten to escape.

Those chocolate orbs which now hold all the pain in the world.

The eyes which now hold the pain of betrayal.

And the cause of all that was me.

"Get out."

I heard him say from where he stood by the hallway. Nobody moved. There was only silence.

I can hear his heavy and ragged breathing, as if he was trying to force himself from breaking down.

Seokjin never liked showing how vulnerable he is.

"Do you have worms in your ear? I said. Get. Out."

There was venom in his voice, yet I can still pinpoint the slight tinge of hurt and disappointment. I hated that.

"Jin, please-"

"No, Namjoon. I won't listen to you. Not anymore."

Jin walked towards the door and stopped midway.

"Do you know how much pain I have endured for the past ten years we've been together?"

He faced me, as he holds onto the knob, letting me know that after all this, he'll never come back.

"You think I never knew of your affairs, huh? Yes, I did play blind, Joon. I played blind because I loved you so much and that was enough to let me give assurance to myself that maybe, just maybe, you will learn to be satisfied with me too."

I stood there, looking down onto my feet, like a child scolded by his parent.

"Jin-"

I wanted to tell him how I love him still. I wanted to tell him how he still completes my life and that I could never live without him. He's the only one that can keep me sane.

And yet, nothing came out.

"Am I not enough, Namjoon?"

Jin asks with glassy eyes, his cheeks and neck flushed from all the bottled up emotions. His lips tremble as he waits for me to answer.

But I kept silent.

"Just as I thought," he scoffs, "You never loved me."

This is it. It's all over now. The ten years we have spent together shattered and destroyed right at our feet.

"Jin, I can't live without you."

"Maybe that's the cause why you kept me all this time. I'm just a slave to you."

"No, Jin please listen-"

"To what Namjoon?! To your empty promises and hollow love for me? I am sick of all those, Joon, I am. You keep telling me that I'm the only one and yet whenever I turn my back, there's another bitch clingig to you. And you never do anything! You never do, Joon."

He shouts at me as I kept standing there, not knowing what to say.

"You think you could play me? Did you think I will not find the hidden lingeries underneath the bed? Or the hickeys of which I am sure are not mine? Heck, when did you even last make love to me, huh? What, four years ago?"

It's been that long, huh?

He went quiet and I still did not dare look at him.

I heard him sniffle.

"Joon, say something."

I looked up at him, and god, he looked more beautiful than ever. Ten years did not bother changing his ethereal beauty. Despite the bloodshot eyes and the red nose, he is still as youthful as the first time we met.

"Jin, I'm sorry."

Tears escaped his eyes and they streamed down his face. I looked at him, hoping for an answer.

"That's it? Nothing else?"

I kept silent.

"I hope you live a good life, Kim Namjoon."

And he was gone.

He's gone.

And he's not coming back.

I fell down on the floor, void of any emotion.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream.

But nothing came out.

I stared at the closed door and see something glittering.

It was our engagement ring.

>>>>>>>>>>>

aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAA

im bad at writing angst hahaha