Diamond

3 - Hesitations

He looks at me like I just said something that would end the world. I can't believe I said that either. I want to give my mouth some slapping, but I cover it with my fingers instead, putting one in between my lips, trying to look sexy and cute at the same time. 

I don't know if it's working, but he bites his lower lip and his eyes move down, ogling me from head to toe. 

Suddenly, I feel like I've been pulled back from whatever trance I was in earlier. "Hey ..." I back away from him, putting my hands up to my sides. "I was just ...."

I get startled when he moves closer to me, bending his head forward, his nose moves from my almost bare shoulder and up my neck. He stops just below my ear. Because of the heat and the cold that my skin feels where he just touched me, I didn't notice that his hands are now gripping my waist. 

"It was ..." But I get cut off again, unable to talk anymore as he traps my lips in his. One of his arms is completely around my waist, and his other hand is on my upper back, keeping me in place. 

He starts moving his lips. I don't really know what's got into me, because I'm responding to his every movement. My hands are clutching his shirt on his chest part, as if pulling him even closer. I'm not resisting as his lower body presses forward. I could feel the bulge under his jeans and he's grinding it against me, making me feel something I shouldn't. 

"Shit!" I manage to say, but it sounds more of a whimper. "Wait ..." But, that sounds like a moan, too. 

Next thing I know, he's pulling me inside the party. No ... wait ... He's pulling me through the crowd of people and to one of the rooms at the inner part of the house. 

Why am I following? I look around, my eyes panic-stricken as I search for JiSung. I finally spot him, he's at the center of the crowd. And grinding her butt on his crotch is none other than the girl I chose for him. But, before I could call out his name, a door closes in front of me. I get turned around and I'm pinned with my back on the door. 

"Wait ... No ... wait..." I put my hands in front of me, stopping the guy from getting any nearer. 

He stops then. His brows meeting in the middle. "I thought this is what you wanted."

"I ..." I look at him apologetically, licking my lips as they feel so dry now. "I'm sorry ... it's just that ...." I shake my head. "I'm sorry." I say again before turning around to open the door. 

One minute I feel like I just want to break free and do it. The next, I'm overthinking and hesitating ... a lot. 

"Wait ... Diane!" He reaches his hand across my shoulder, pushing the door close again. He turns me around slowly with his other hand. 

I look down, avoiding how intense his gaze is. I don't want to be lured to them again. Not when I'm already starting to think straight. 

"You can't just fuckin' leave like this."

"I'm really sorry." I say, still not daring to look at him. 

"What's stopping you? You want it, don't you?"

"Fuck!" I squeeze my eyes shut. Do I really want this? Is this really what I want? Can I do this just for the bet? Have sex with a random guy. Fuck. Is this really me? "I don't even know you." I accidentally look up and his eyes are like magnets, keeping me from looking away from them. "Shit!" I say under my breath, to myself. I furrow my brows when he starts to chuckle. 

He leans his forehead on my shoulder and I patiently wait until his laughter fades. "Is that it?" He raises his head slightly, just high enough that his eyes are now directly opposite my lips, an inch or two away.